Thursday, August 3, 2017

Thursday: Thor's Day


I am looking for inner strength today! Walking the dogs yesterday proved to be an unnerving experience. First I encountered a local woman who never puts her German Shepherd on leash. I asked her to do so because I was going to walk my dogs in that area. She was so rude, said I "wasn't the police" and gave me the finger. I'm perplexed at people these days.

Another scary thing that happened was when I was on the deserted road on the other side of the covered bridge. There was a guy on a quad, reeking of beer and cigarettes...going back and forth on the road next to me, staring me down the whole time. I have to admit, I was scared and creeped out. As soon as he got out of sight, I ducked into the woods with the dogs, but then felt very uncomfortable the entire walk. I walk in the woods ALONG QUAD TRAILS...he could have easily followed me. I kept hearing his quad and I got scared and called Alex to come and meet me. I feel as though I can't leave my home and this all happened between 6:30am and 7:30am...I'm not even safe at this hour! We are both so upset about this latest situation. We also found out from the hair dresser that this town is known as a drug-crop town...how did we not know this? It really would explain a lot about the shady people here. Drug growers will go to no ends to protect their crops. I don't want to be on that end ever.

This morning there were NO dog walks. I'm very upset and slightly depressed. I've done everything I can to try to walk my dogs in safety. We've complained to the canine inspector and the village about loose dogs - there is NO enforcement. We called the police yesterday about the creepy quad guy but they couldn't do much because he was gone and I was too scared to take his photo...plus it takes them over half an hour to arrive. Alex was furious about the fact that nothing ever will be done by the people who are supposed to take action, he asked me not to leave the house without him. We both feel like our hands are tied here. 

So...I'm looking for strength. The mountains and woods are beautiful, but not safe for me - even with the dogs. It's a horrible situation because I just love to be in the woods. Alex and I talked so much about this, we are this close to breaking our lease and leaving.

But our dream is to buy land and a home and if we move again, our dream will be that much further away financially. We signed a lease here that ends June 2019, less than 2 years now. We will stay put and I will exercise at home. We will make sure the dogs get lots of running around and play time in the yard each day. We don't mind being reclusive at all...but walking the dogs was such a pleasure that we feel has been forcefully taken from us. But people's attitudes here are so apathetic...even the town hall and the police. We've never experienced this before. It will motivate us that much more to save money and pay back debt though.

We can only change ourselves at this point. We can't change others. I feel as though these people here have defeated me. I want to be self-righteous and just walk the dogs anyway each day...but what happened yesterday really scared me. I have to be realistic - safety first. I never thought it would be this bad!

6 comments:

MrsDuncanMahogany said...

This breaks my heart to read. Not only is that woman an asshole, but now you can't even walk in the peace and quiet of your area. Actually not only does it break my heart, it makes my blood boil. I am going to be harsh here, so my apologies but - f*ck you stupid people. Really. Nothing is sacred anymore. I am sending you strength and power - may you rise up and find peace in what you do. Is there another town you can rent from that is close or if not close, safer? Oooh this really makes me mad that you got the finger and then felt threatened. No one has common courtesy anymore. Or brains.

What about renting in NS? It may take a bit more money, but it might be just the thing that you need to do now. Or if not now, soon.

Be strong.

Big hugs and much love xx

Rain said...

Thanks Dianna, you're very sweet and supporting. Talk about the Kodiak bear coming out of you! :)) grrr...firstly, that woman...all I could do was roll my eyes. I can't do a damn thing about the loose dog owners around here. I'm sure the dogs are sweet - the owners are assholes.

But that guy trying to bully me, why? I couldn't figure it out. I've NEVER seen him before, I didn't even look his way. That gut feeling told me something was wrong. Maybe he's growing pot in the woods. Alex and I did see some questionable digging and blocking of paths early this summer. We also saw a pile of bags of earth in one area of the woods.

I often felt that I'd be just okay with the dogs, but I fear for their safety too now. So I'm not going out alone anymore.

I did Thor's spread with my Fairy Tale deck. It was Sword heavy (use your mind and maturity)...3 Swords out of 4.

1. Where do I need to find strength right now? The home, Pentacles, the physical body. I have to concentrate on my own health and my family.

The last three were Swords. I have to be realistic and think without emotion when making my decisions (hard for me!)

2. How can I be stronger? The card advised me of potential financial setbacks...running away and moving would put us into worse debts. I think that might be the message.

3. How can I overcome a weakness? The card advised to look within, gain greater insight and look for inspiration. I need Nature right now and thought.

4. How can I protect myself? The card advised to reflect on my journey thus far and transition. I need to focus on what I've worked for and not mess that up with emotional decisions.

The temptation to just move is so high. But we need to think with our heads and not put our plans of home ownership in jeopardy. The problem is that we could easily move to NEW problems in a new rental. We both want to stop renting period. So I need to think about how to deal with my emotions, my anxiety and also make more solid plans to repay debt and save. I've already started a budget with a repayment and savings plan and it's already boosted my confidence.

We really need to be far away from people and we're willing to wait it out less than 2 years now. And we did think about moving to NB or NS soon. We might do that in the spring of 2019 to rent for a few months while we find our home. We just don't want any surprises like we got here.

Thanks so much for your comment and the energy you're sending me, I do feel it! I just wish I could stop feeling so violated!

MrsDuncanMahogany said...

:) I protect what is important to me! :)

I just did the spread, here is what I got:

1. 2 of Wands - reversed

2. Ace of Cups - reversed

3. Queen of Swords

4. The Star - reversed

Interesting spread. Especially #3.

I understand how badly you want to leave but cannot put yourself in financial jeopardy. That's us right now. We could do it, but it would not be the wisest choice we would make - and that would mean that I would likely have to work past my Magic 80! Not sure I want to do that especially in my current job! So, let's keep our fingers crossed that good luck comes our way - in whatever form!

Rain said...

Fingers are crossed...Your spread is interesting, though I don't do reversals, I never found them to be helpful to me, I just got more confused lol...You got 3 out of four, does that have meaning? My interpretation of number 3 is that you need to feel calm and see perspective to overcome a weakness.

I still have one trick up my sleeve I think. There is another area where I could walk the dogs. I'd have to drive a few minutes to get there, but there are no quad trails at all. I could take all three of them in the morning on the shorter walk, and then Charlie later on, we could do the trail 3 times to get in an hour...it's a thought, but I have to talk to Alex about it. I don't want him to worry too much either.

Treey Stynes said...

Hi Rain, why are people being so difficult? There is no need for this. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Rain said...

Hey Terry, that's a good question with no answer right? :) I'm an emotional type and this kind of thing really gets me to the core because I really try to be a good person and follow the law, not be a nuisance etc...people don't show the same respect and I agree, THEY should feel ashamed, but they don't. They just feel empowered. Alex and I will be moving in a few years to somewhere very remote and try to live a reclusive life. Society has basically pushed us away, but we won't lament over it. We're happy with just each other and the pets. In the meanwhile though, it's all about tolerance and finding a way to make do. Sigh.