Monday, October 23, 2017

Insight Into Dreams

Do you dream? Well, we all do, I guess the better question is do you remember your dreams? If so, do you analyze them? I think we only tend to analyze the bad dreams. I know that if I have a positive, happy dream, I feel no need to analyze it!

But it's those nightmares that disturb me. Since I was eight years old, I have had the same recurring nightmare: 

It's late at night and I'm walking alone on a country road in silence. I pass by a rickety old house with a large porch and a picket fence around it. I feel uncontrollably drawn to the house, so I open the gate, it creeks of course!...then I walk up the stairs and I am facing the screen door - it's so dark I can't see in. Suddenly I see a pair of eyes staring down at me. I squint my eyes to focus and I see a man looking at me with the whites of his eyes. He is a priest, he is blind and he means me harm.

In terror, I turn away and run down the stairs, open the gate and run down the road. The blind priest is right behind me, jumping down the stairs and over the gate. He is wearing a big black hat and a ripped black robe. He sees me though he's blind, I can't run fast enough, I feel his long finger nails scratching at my back, breaking my skin as I run for my life. The road ahead of me is dark and it never seems to end. I can feel my breath leaving me.

Then I wake up, sweating and terrified and sometimes screaming. I had this nightmare almost nightly until my early twenties. It went away for about 9 years when I was on anti-depressants and tranquilizers for the panic attacks...well, I would say no surprise there...those pharmaceuticals really turned me into a zombie. Only a few months after I stopped all the meds, the nightmare came back.  I would say I roughly have this nightmare at least twice a month if not more often.

I've done analysis (both self and professional) and I know what it's supposed to mean. It explains most of the realities that I lived through in my childhood...I was supposed to have dealt with all of that in therapy, so why does it not go away? And what on earth triggers that blind priest to keep terrifying me during my sleep?

Do you have recurring nightmares? Or better yet, recurring nice dreams? If one night I wake up remembering that me and the priest were laughing and enjoying a picnic together I think I might go nuts finally lol...but it would be nice to have some kind of closure and never have that nightmare ever again! If you're interested, here are two interesting dream-analysis sites:

They are basic with "user-friendly" Freudian analyses, but they really make you think a little further about what your dreams could mean!


MrsDuncanMahogany said...

I dream. I usually remember my dreams. As I get older I am remembering less and less. I have had nightmares but never recurring ones. Dreams are incredibly prophetic. Its your super-conscious kicking in. What an incredibly fearful dream. I wonder if you tell yourself before falling asleep that you will NOT have that dream, and you will have to do this for quite some time, this might help in getting rid of or at least cutting down on those bad ones.

Pam Jackson said...

Dreams....I really don't have any really happy dreams or nightmares. I find that I dream more about people from my past. My dreams break up and move around, in other words I can start out dreaming about one person, then all of a sudden things change and I dream about another person
(and these two don't even know each other)..or I dream about that one person in fitting them in different areas of my life....nothing making sense. If I dream about someone more then once I find that I have to check on them when I am awake to be sure everything is ok. THen sometimes I dream about odd things, usually that dream comes about after I have had a conversation about that thing, or seen that thing....its all strange so I really don't put anything into them....I rather live through my day dreams!! I hate that you have that odd dream and I do hope one day you wake with a good change having happened in that dream.

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

That sounds horrifying. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Has any counselor/therapist/doctor ever given a reason why this dream keeps recurring. It must be exhausting dealing with it.

In my younger years I had a lot of nightmares, starting from my childhood and on. They were especially prevalent during the years I was with my ex (during our dating and married years and a little after we separated and divorced), which makes sense because the relationship was a nightmare. HAHA I laugh now but it wasn't funny then :)

I occasionally have nightmares now but they're usually triggered by fatigue or stress or some type of worry. Most nights seem to be very peaceful.

Michael said...

Rain, i wonder if you see thee comments from older posts? What a terrifying dream! have you ever used dream moods dictionary ( It's excellent and we are always amazed at just how accurate it is, even with the most seemingly unique dreams. I find it fascinating how our subconscious has these cultural associations that mean the same thing to all of us, regardless of our own backgrounds and personalities.

Ye, I remember all my dreams, I believe. Always have. I have about 5-7 distinct different dreams a night and each one on full colour, very vivid where I recall every detail, down to a loose thread on a someone's button, etc. However, 95% or so of my dreams are worrying about something. Often times it can involve work or my care and concern for someone else when I know they are going through things. I usually know what they mean as its obvious but when not, we look them up online to see what we're dealing with subconsciously, not for an insight into the prophetic or something, jsut to be clear.

OK, 4 hours later, I am finally done reading through your blogs and leaving comments. :) thank you for the good reads, stimulating conversations, etc. It's funny how you say you are not a social person and neither is Alex as far as meeting people, and yet, you are so open online! :)

Rain said...

I just want to say I'm so sorry I haven't replied to these comments! Michael got me curious because I don't seem to always receive comment notifications on this blog for some reason. I will be more diligent about checking out my new comments I promise, because I love the discussion!!! :)

Rain said...

Hi Dianna :) I agree that dreams are very prophetic. I also think they are bits and pieces of past traumas. But all professionals say that once you figure out what the dream means, it will "likely" go away. Not in my case! I will try to tell myself that this priest has nothing on me each night before bed. Thanks for the advice :)

Rain said...

Hi Pam :) I feel the same way if I have a dream about someone I know. In fact, the other night, I had a wickedly horrible dream that my parents were taking care of the five dogs and just let them loose and they all got lost. I actually woke up in tears and Alex walked me around the house to show me that they were all safe and sound. It took me days to get over that. I would rather live through my daydreams too! :)

Rain said...

Hi Martha :) I do indeed know the reason for the dream, and without getting too personal it has to do with my fundamentalist father who was very abusive and frightening. Religious authority figure chasing me down, blind to my fear etc...there really are some interesting analyses of this dream. At one point the priest was actually a dinosaur, which just meant more of me feeling trapped and running futilely from a stronger predator. It is exhausting, and my poor body and emotions are toast when it happens! Alex brings me some brandy and sits with me when I wake up after that nightmare, it helps me relax and fall back asleep...maybe dulls the senses a little so it doesn't come back that night too.

Now that I know about your ex and that toxic relationship, I say it's no wonder that you had nightmares. All of your repressed emotions and negative feelings that everything was your fault had to come out somehow. And the residual emotions are post-traumatic if you've pushed them down like that. I pushed mine down all my life and of course they do eventually come out in some way. I'm very happy you have peaceful nights now! :)

Rain said...

Thanks Michael, I actually did NOT get all of these notifications! Blogger is weird, I guess you get what you pay for lol...because I don't even get all of the comments on my Rain's Garden blog either, but I guess I check that one more regularly. Thank you again for letting me see that I was missing out on some great comments!!! I'll keep a better eye out from now on! :)

Yes, I've used Dream Moods, and yes they are pretty good with all of the symbolism. It's the same idea that most psychiatrists use because it's all based on Freudian analysis. Our brains are so intricate...even a lifetime wouldn't come close to understanding how everything works in there! :) I think it's smart of you to try to understand your dreams. In my case, having that dream as a kid was just terrifying and I didn't know what was going on, but when I started to look into it, it all made sense. I don't know that it made the nightmare less terrifying, but at least I knew what I was dealing with.

I know what you's funny to me too. I'm very open online, I guess I feel safe that way. My social life is gone though, I don't feel comfortable physically around people, but the people I have met in person, I'm actually the same way, an open book...I think though, the physical socializing, for lack of a better term, has a lot to do with anxiety. I get nervous and it always shows and I would rather avoid feeling that way so my online social butterfly-ness feels much more comfy to me!! Thanks for all of your wonderful comments! :)