Thursday, December 14, 2017

Domestic Bliss

I feel like this sometimes! I've really created a different kind of life for myself the last few years. Everything is different from....whence I came. (I've been waiting to use that word lol). Really though, I've built a cozy, quiet, hermit-style life here with Alex and the pets. When I step out my door into society, I feel uncomfortable. The realities of living in our world can be depressing and violent. To me, reality is more insane than insanity. Hmmm...that's a noodle-scratcher.

I gave up television about six years ago and I rarely if never read the news. I know what's going on in the world, but I refuse to get caught up in all of it now. A former friend of mine was really big on politics and current events. She called me ignorant because I didn't really care about everything that was considered "newsworthy". I told her I'm quite content being ignorant. Obviously it was a clash of personalities and that friendship fizzled! Even though it didn't affect me personally here in Quebec, 9-11 really traumatized me. I was working at the time at a day-trading firm and we had CNN on 24-7. I was glued to that station for weeks and since then, I'm ultra-sensitive to tragedies and war. My heart went out to all of those people who suffered to the point where I was having a hard time dealing with it emotionally. I don't mind being ignorant to save my emotional health anymore. 

When people start talking about current events, I feel myself drifting off and thinking about what seeds I'll be planting in my garden this spring 😪. I do my best impression of staying interested, but it's no use...I just don't care enough. I can talk about bread baking 'til the cows come home, but the subject of foreign affairs is like a sleeping pill.

I came up with this Tarot spread recently and it got me thinking a lot about how I live my life. The last question especially. I used to always live for the future, and that makes the present unbearable. When I shifted things around and started to live the way I wanted to, I really felt like I was finally "home". I still have dreams for my future with Alex that I'm working towards; but I'm making it a point every day to enjoy what I have NOW. As the saying goes, you never know how long you'll have it, so seize the day. My philosophy is leave the past where it should be, live and enjoy life now and work for your future dreams. Usually I do all of this very well, though sometimes the past gets lonely and needles me down memory lane, until I tell it to buzz off and bug someone else for a change!

I've gotten to a point where my home life is the most important thing to me. I'm building a home where I never want to leave! Alex and I don't have the house we want, we're still renting, and honestly the village is still a little too populated for our liking, but we are making this place a home as best we can. We dream about living on a property that's only accessible by canoe in the summer and snowmobile in the winter! Oh and a mote with a crocodile pit would be nice lol... But we aren't the types who need other people in our lives, we're so content with each other and with our pets. Even the monthly trip to the grocery store is nicknamed "the dreaded shopping day" lol...our goal is self-sufficiency, but we are realistic too. We will always have to sneak our way into society once in a while, as long as we quickly get back to our haven, I guess that's okay.

There is a trend towards homesteading and self-reliance lately. The reason could be financial, or it could be societal. Some want that lifestyle for philosophical and environmental reasons. Or they want a quiet life where they can choose when and where they interact with society too. For us, it's completely about a quiet, reclusive life surrounded by nature. We don't need a lot of money or material "stuff", but we do need the basics and a tranquil surrounding. 

What about you? Has society worn you out to the point where you dream of a hermit-style life like me? Are you more of a hustle and bustle city dweller? Or are you somewhere in between? What is your dream life, are you living it? I think I'm living it more or less, there are a few big changes coming up, but home is where my heart is. To my detriment or not, my heart rules me, so home is where I never want to leave.


Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

I'm very happy to hear that you are where you want to be at this moment, and headed in the right direction as the future unfolds. I think it sometimes takes time for us to realize what we need and what will truly makes us happy. Part of it, I guess, comes with maturity. I've always enjoyed a simple, quiet life, and I think I'm an in-between person. I have lengthy hermit-like periods and I have periods where I enjoy spending time in busy places. We moved away from the big city over 8 years ago and I think it's one of the best decisions we've ever made. I love living in a smaller area. I drive into the big city once in awhile and the craziness of it all gets to me, and I can't wait to get back to this quieter pace. My dream is to travel and explore the world. Will this ever happen? I don't know. I do believe that we'll manage a few trips on our budget but not to a level that I once imagined. But I'm okay with that. We're very resourceful and very creative. If we can't do the big trips, we plan small ones, like day trips to surrounding areas and playing tourist in our own city. We are both simple people and always content with what we have and what we can do. Right now. I consider this a blessing.

The news can be quite distressing. I always know what's going on but never let myself get caught up emotionally. If I feel I'm being dragged into the madness of it all, I withdraw. I learned a long time ago that I am very sensitive to suffering and cruelty and nastiness, and I have to maintain a good distance to stay sane and emotionally stable.

MrsDuncanMahogany said...

YES, YES, YES!!!! Dear Rain - are we related?!?!? :)

If I didn't have to work I would quite happily live in my house, venturing into my yard and would rather not go any further. I too drift off when conversations become too heavy or uninteresting. Let's talk about animals, gardens, baking and the moon please!!!! :)

Society has worn me right down to the nub and I can just feel my anxiety rise if I have to go to the mall or downtown. I avoid it at all costs. Large rooms of people make me very uncomfortable. I would rather sit in candlelight and discuss magick - of any kind!

Toni said...

You're writing my book. I love my home and I could stay here forever (with trips to the mountains because trees and mountains are my besties).

Our culture today is incredibly distressing. The new norms are, truly, insane.

Pam Jackson said...

Rain~ I am a more in between sort of woman. I have always been a social butterfly, always in the mist of people and friends, but now a days not as much as I once was due to the Fibro. But living out away from the world and people would be hard for me. I can understand your reach for your hermit type life but at least you still reach out and stay in touch with your blogging friends! I love that. Thanks for the sweet comments on my blog today. The past week as been sort of a struggle for me. Today was a PJ, cold, stay in, lay around sort of day...and I am good with that. I have had Dakota curled up next to me and Lily has jumped over on my chest more than once today to give me Lily loving. In reply to those questions~What fulfills my emotions....Being able to have days like this, crashing when I need too. Comfort to my home....having my things around me. I like things, maybe too many. Relationship...not in one right now and thinking that is how my life will be. House more of a home...organizing better and clearing some of the things that I have that I would not miss to be gone..and being home, I am there. I have worked hard to be at this point in my life, owning my home, my car, having my two furbabes, retirement and still having some good days.

Michael said...

Rain, I really enjoyed this post and pondering your question at the top as well as those you close with. I LOVE love reading your heart here even though I myself am not a hermit lifestyle type person as am far too extroverted. However, I totally relate to the need for quiet! Whilst I love living in a downtown area, I don't like all the noise that comes with it so like yo, long for peace and quiet but instead of being surrounded by woods, I'd like to be in an urban jungle, as crazy as I'm sure that sounds to you. Lol. To me too, actually, come to think of it! Am I bonkers? Basically, that's my dilemma--- I love people and being around them but hate the pollution that often comes with those too selfish to consider how they are affecting the enviro around them --pollution--noise pollution to be precise. Currently, our neighbour to the left of us has been gone which means it's been a little quiet--SO nice. No garage door opening and closing all the time, let alone the constant revving of his 7 motorcycles he loves to continually fine tune and repair (yes, really!).

I suppose I can blame my need for interaction and hustle and bustle from WHENCE I came too. :)

We too rent and whilst I would love a home of our own to be able to paint walls, garden etc, we also don;t want to fee tied down with the way things are these days, even if we somehow had the money for a down payment which we definitely don't.

Michael said...

I'm leaving my comment in sections in order to go back and reread portions of your post,ensuring I've addressed the various points properly since you've taken the time to write them in the first place! :)

you know, i went about 20 years without a TV and the only reason we have one now is tht it comes with the rental so while we do not have able TV to tune into, we do download shows from Fandango--especially Christmas bakeoff type shows this time of year and we have a few paranormal investigative shows we enjoy too.

I do read the news from various sources through the internet but try not to get bogged down in their various spins but sometimes, specailly when it involves children being hurt, my heart breaks and then after praying for them (whoever they are), I ponder jsut how valuable is all this news? It seems to me that people are getting angrier adn angrier and no wonder! the news deliberately spins it angle to the audience it caters to, making people basically brainwashed into one narrow political world view, even if the fad of the day. WE no longer get a diverse range of outlets which is to our detriment I think. So, lately, especially over the holidays, I try to avoid the news as much as able which am able to do for the most part as it takes me choosing to click on articles to read them!

There is someone who visits me on my blog, Nicholas, who reminds me a lot of you and also avoids the news and TV etc and loves to be in touch with nature. he is also artistic. I think you would enjoy his pensive readings too and he too has some similar world views in terms of celebrating the solstice and such. I ALWAYS enjoy his readings too.

Whilst, to an extent I understand your friendship with that person coming to an end as you were "ignorant" of world events, I find it sad and heavy to the heart that more and more people are cutting each other off simply because they aren't the same in outlook or interests. I love the true diversity of ppl different to me in whatever way that might be (with smoking being my exception to the rule due to toxins and Alex's liver tumour). Lol.

I love what you say about living for the future and trying to be more present minded. There is, thankfully, more awareness of how much we miss out on when so focused on goals or what have you. There is SOOO much to enrich one in the simply daily routines of life. I am always delighted how Alex notices the lil animals scurrying around, whether those are squirrels, birds, or rabbits. It's opened up my eyes to the daily wonder of nature even in town, among the bushes, etc.

For me I think, it's taken me a long time to let go of the past due to my divorce and especially as I felt she was my soul mate and the only thing that made sense of me living in Colorado vs. back in England where my heart's home still resides. I am learning bit by bit though that the magic is in the now and none of us have the same story.

Rain said...

Hi Martha :) We're the same, I'm very sensitive to all the nastiness in the world too. I tend to take it very deeply in an emotional way. I can't watch the news anymore at all. And thanks, I do feel that I'm finally on the right path in life. It took a long time and you're right, maturity does make a big difference. The more experiences you have in life, the more you learn from them, the better your choices are. Life is a learning experience after all! I used to want to travel a lot myself. When I was much younger, I did the backpacking across Europe trip. I've been here and there in Canada and the States, but my travel bug has been squashed! I just have no desire to go anywhere but my own backyard anymore! Our country does have a lot to offer, so I think that day trips, or even short trips to different parts of the country are a great idea!

Rain said...

Hi Dianna :) Yes, we must be related lol....sister from a different....mister??? lol...I can't rhyme that saying for women ha ha...Oh, that idea of sitting around a candle discussing magick is such a good one. How relaxing! I'm trying to build my life to do just what you said, not venture much further than my yard for as long as I can!

Rain said...

Hi Toni :) I agree about the new norms...I can't relate to society these days at all. Oh, I'm the same! Mountains and trees are definitely in my heart!! :)

Rain said...

Hi Pam :) I used to be a social butterfly, but the more I think of it, the more I realize it wasn't necessarily because I liked being social, it was more that I wanted to fit in and feel loved. I think that I enjoy my Blogging friends so much because it's safe for me. Everyone is just so nice, but also I can remain a hermit!! :) I do like interracting, but I think I feel obligated by "real life" friendships too much. I've lost friends in the past because I just hadn't found motivation to go see them. I found it emotionally exhausting, not at all their fault, which I did try to explain often, but I was mostly misunderstood.

I would say I love PJ days, but then ALL of my days are PJ days lol! Unless I have to go out, I'm always in my pajamas. Even when we drive over to check the mail weekly, we just hop in the car with our PJ's on!! I want to achieve what you have Pam, my own home, owning the car (that'll be paid off in less than a year now! Woohoo, just in time for the warrantee to end lol)...I guess you could say I'm in retirement as well. I love having comforting things around me. I think that everything in my home has coziness and comfort...or else it doesn't really belong!

Rain said...

Hi Michael :) You may well be bonkers lol...but then people think I'm bonkers, or a "shut in" because I just love being at home! I do love that people are very different, but I guess when anger gets involved..or the "holier than thou" syndrome, it's time to move on. That former friend I was referring to, she actually told me that she couldn't be friends with anyone who wasn't interested in current events. I never understood that. Our friendship wasn't based on current events when we met in high school, was it? No, it wasn't. But that's okay, we learn lots from other people too. She was passionate about something that bored me to tears, and I'm sure she nodded off at times when I talked about my bird feeder lol...It's nice that your Alex notices all of the little critters in nature. I do too, in fact I don't ever want to have a day without noticing! Today it snowed, big flakes...and as I type this it is dusk and the world outside my window has a blue's just lovely. That is one of the reasons I love living in the mountains, it's so beautiful and it makes me feel so grateful!

SEVEN motorcycles??? Yeesh! No wonder you're happy when he's out of town! That really would make me bonkers. I don't think I'd be living there too long! I had a neighbour once who played the same song over and over and over...all I kept hearing was that same bass beat and it really drove me nuts. I had to move because of it. I lived in apartments for years and put up with other people's noise through my walls and floors...I'm so sensitive to noise now that I live mostly in a quiet village. I can hear a car coming miles away now, I can hear people walking in the snow one street over...and I can hear people talking on their boats when their on the lake! But I can also hear the birds chirping and the wind in the trees too. Aaaah, much more soothing than seven motorcycles lol!

A down payment is tough. I wouldn't even dream of living in a city, but even if I liked it, I could never afford it. Houses go for hundreds of thousands of dollars in Montreal. Our budget is under 75k, probably closer to 50k. But we are willing to move to a province and an area that is more isolated so that we can afford to live well. We could probably manage more, but we don't want to be bogged down by paying a mortgage we can barely afford either. I really hope we can do that in a few years!

I don't see most of the news as valuable. What I mean is that I get a lot of information with just a headline. I don't need to read about all the suffering involved, I can't handle that. But you're right, the media does put a spin on things to suit their audience who pays their salaries by tuning in! I'm guessing Fandago is a bit like Netflix? We also download tv shows and movies a lot. Right now we watch them on our laptops, but one thing we want in our future home is a nice screen to watch movies. So many dreams! :) I love cooking shows! And I used to watch Most Haunted very loyally!

Btw, thank you for mentioning Nicholas, I've found his blog and I will check it out!

wisps of words said...

Just came across your blog, and I'm very happy I did.

Same here, home is the place I choose to be. And our shopping for food days are "dreaded" here too. :-) I have no desire to mingle in "society." A homebody all the way. I do my mingling, in Blog Land, and IG. Lovely that, because it is entirely when I choose.<--That sounds very selfish I suppose. But so be it. I do like to choose my mingle time. :-)

Happy to have found this blog!

wisps of words said...

About being "informed"... I so agree.

As much as humanly possible, I try to avoid "the news." I don't trust much of it anyway. I personally can do nothing about any of it. And I am unable to compartmentalize it. Put "the news" in a neat little closed compartment in my mind, and not let it bother my thoughts. Nope. Can't do it!

All I can do, about "the news", is worry myself sick about things. Or choose to not worry myself sick. I choose not. Except being human, I do fall down once in a while, and dip a toe into it. -sigh- -head desk-

We who wish to dwell in our own world, Courage! There are others like us. There don't have to be, but still.... It's nice to know, that there are. :-))))

Rain said...

Hi Wisps of Words! :) I love your username :) Thank you for visiting my blog and your lovely comments! :) I'm not the only one who dreads shopping day...if we could buy everything online, we'd be very happy! I told Alex that we need to hire an intern to do our shopping for us lol...

You and I are so similar, I do my mingling on Blog Land too. I don't think it's selfish at all to say that you can choose when to mingle and when not to. I used to think that way about myself, I always thought of "real life" friendships as something I was obliged to keep up with too much. Being an introvert and kind of anti-social, I thought of it as "forced socializing" and I never enjoyed it. I think that's why my Blogger friends are so meaningful to me, we all have our own boundaries, but we're all so friendly and dear to each other at the same time.

The news has become way too sensationalized. I mean, I guess it always was, but the emotion attached to the stories is too much for me to bear at times. If there is something threatening my lifestyle and my country, I will pay more attention, but most times, I leave the news to those who want to know about it.

Michael said...

"I'm sure she nodded off at times when I talked about my bird feeder lol..."
-hahhha. Yes, probably. :)

"It's nice that your Alex notices all of the little critters in nature. I do too, in fact I don't ever want to have a day without noticing! Today it snowed, big flakes...and as I type this it is dusk and the world outside my window has a blue's just lovely. That is one of the reasons I love living in the mountains, it's so beautiful and it makes me feel so grateful!

".. I can hear a car coming miles away now, I can hear people walking in the snow one street over...and I can hear people talking on their boats when their on the lake! "
-WOW! how dreamy to have it that quiet enough to be so aware. Love that.

Yes, town/city living. here, a house that is not falling apart or destroyed is at least $300K! And that's a 1950's house split level. out little 840 sq/ft house is over $500k if it was ever sold. That is utterly crazy! :)

Rain said...

I think that housing prices are ridiculous Michael. I all comes down to earth and structure...why must it be so expensive because the earth and structure is zoned in a certain region? And who made up all of these prices anyway??? I know that's a rhetorical question since money makes the world go around.

I feel blessed that Alex and I don't need to go outside the home to earn our living...otherwise we'd be miserable living in a city or town...or wasting our lives commuting far away like I used to do. I really do feel grateful for that because it affords us the opportunity to live in areas where people won't settle down due to distance from cities (where they work). I think that's why we'll be able to find a nice plot of land with a fixer upper home on it, far far away from society. At least that's my hope.