Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Emotions and Forgiveness


February 20th 1712 was the last recorded day where witchcraft trials took place in England. Atrocities...anyway, this made me think of forgiveness. I often talk about forgiveness because at least for me, it saved me from self-destructing when the pain of the past was too overwhelming.

When you realize that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person, it's pretty powerful. It sets you free, it can inspire great change and personal growth. I know that I became a new person when I was able to forgive. I started to live again.

Holding on to long-term pain only continues to do you harm, likely the person who hurt you doesn't care much anymore about it anyway. You don't need to let anyone off the hook, just yourself. Do you have some forgiving to do?


We all know how powerful emotions are. They can lift us up and they can tear us apart. I wrote this Tarot spread to help uncover emotions that may be jumbled up inside. I believe that anger, jealousy, shame, sadness, desperation, resentment...all of the negative aspects of our emotions are ALL based on some kind of fear. It's important to uncover them in order to heal and live your life to the fullest.

For example, if our cat Dana tries to run out the door every time we open it, I get mad at the little stinker. This anger is based on the fear that I'll lose him in the big bad world out there. He is definitely forgiven for being the curious cat that he is...but what about people?  When I was 19 years old, I had a boyfriend that I'd been with a few months. One day I went to his apartment to surprise him and he was there with my best friend at the time. They both had lipstick on their faces and the bed was all messed up; but I never said anything. He finally admitted to the tryst and I ended up breaking up with him shortly after that and I never spoke to this friend again. I felt so betrayed and I held on to that hatred for so long. That hatred I felt for the both of them was based on my fear of feeling discarded and abandoned. I didn't want to admit that he didn't love me enough to be faithful to me; and that she didn't love me enough to respect the boundaries of our friendship.

But people, let's face it, can be A-HOLES! We can't control that! And unfortunately we can't control when we will get hurt. But after working through the emotions, we can control whether or not we allow ourselves to heal or to hang on.

16 comments:

MrsDuncanMahogany said...

I am learning alot from you my friend. Namaste.

wisps of words said...

A big lesson to be learned... By all people.

Thank you for sharing this, with us.

So happy that you are now, where you are!

Martha said...

I'm sorry about that experience, Rain. That must have been painful. Betrayal is a difficult thing to process. We do question so many things around it, sometimes wonder what we've done wrong to instigate it. Or why we're not lovable enough to stop it. But the truth is that this is more about the other person than it is about us. This is a hard lesson to learn and it gets easier as we get older.

I totally agree with fear. It is a foundation for many of our other emotions. Sometimes locating the fear helps manage the other feelings and thoughts it triggers.

Haddock said...

Do you have some forgiving to do? .... Oh yes, and I am doing it one by one :-)

Pam Jackson said...

Oh my gosh there are so many Aholes out there! But...there are some really great folks out there. I have amazing friends and a great family. Now don't get me wrong, where family is I had to do a lot of forgiving and you are right, it is not about them when you forgive, it is all about you. I have to forgive my mom on a daily basis but I love her and her biggest fault is she feels she is always right. I had to forgive her for a comment she made yesterday. What I had to do years ago was except her for who she is, I realized I was never going to change how she thought, or her in general, so the next step was to except her. All I want in life is for people to say, "Pam is who is she, I will except her for that"....mom's problem, she has never been able to do that. And I am okay with that. But years ago I had to go through the forgiving aspect but in that journey I also knew that one day....KRAMA would bite a couple of them in the ass, and I might not know about it, I might not be there to see it...but it will happen! You are a strong woman Rain...hold your head high and live your life to its best!

Magic Love Crow said...

I'm sorry for the experience you had Rain. We all go through things, don't we? We must forgive ourselves too. Big Hugs!

Rain said...

So much more to learn Dianna... ;)

Rain said...

Thanks Wisps of Words, I'm very happy these days, it's a relief! :)

Rain said...

Hi Martha :) Oh yes, that experience was painful, but I was more angry than anything. I felt humiliated, and I guess it affected me more than I knew, making me think there was something wrong with me instead of them. I find that even though I know that my negative emotions are based on fear, sometimes I can't even manage them, but time helps and so does working on my spirit. :)

Rain said...

Hi Haddock :) Thanks for visiting! Baby steps for forgiveness is a good idea because sometimes it can be too overwhelming if you have lots of forgiving to do. For me, I had a lot to do over my life and I tried to forgive everyone in one shot...it felt too fake for me!

Rain said...

Hi Pam :) It must be hard to have to forgive you mom daily, but I see that it's necessary if you want to keep her in your life. Thats very big of you! I try to practice forgiveness daily, maybe not for things people do daily, but for memories I have, thoughts, self-doubts...self-forgiveness too. I believe in Karma too, and though it might feed my "revenge" side to have a front row seat lol...I trust that people who hurt will be hurt back, and hopefully they will learn from it!

Rain said...

Thanks Magic Love Crow :) That was 30 years ago now, eek...it was painful back then, it did affect how I trusted people though. I think I still suffer from that fear of letting myself be vulnerable, but I work on it every day! :)

Pam Jackson said...

Rain, so happy that the orange maybe seems to be helping. Maybe a tad orange and some laveder? Awesome...I really hope you find that is what is making the difference!

Rain said...

Yes Pam! I'll add some lavender...this will be a fun experiment...and it's good for my art, lol...I can paint my dreams, they are so vivid!!!

baili said...

Yes forgiveness is releasing your soul from the cage of pain and fear i agree

thank you for sharing your painful personal experience my friend ,i salute your wisdom and patience .
God brought you perfect soulmate!!!

Rain said...

Thank you Baili :) I've learned that holding on to hurt and anger only hurts me, even though it's hard to do, I try my best to forgive now. :)