Friday, February 16, 2018

Just Some Thoughts Today

I'm a little wiped out today! Yesterday was (the dreaded) shopping day and when I got home, I could not focus on anything except being in bed watching old Saturday Night Live episodes from the 1970's. Dinner was leftover Valentine's Day cake! Oooh, healthy! as per usual, any time I'm out in society, I need a few days to recover. Today all I could manage was some drawing and artwork...and lots of thinking as I watched the birds at the feeder.

I never found magick until I gave up the city life. I couldn't feel anything above the noise of humanity. Now, I look out my window every day to the woods, the birds and the skies. I can't wait to look out my window and see my pumpkin patch again! :)

I used to think that being by myself was so lonely. But that's because I hadn't yet discovered how much I love being ME. I often say that solitude is bliss. I love Alex with all of my heart of course, but being alone while I'm creating, blogging, thinking...brings me a lot of joy. I know who I am now. 

I'm turning 50 on Tuesday. As I think about the first 50 years of my life, it seems like a dream to me, sometimes a nightmare, but definitely not very real. Have you ever experienced this? I think that this is a phenomenon that's a result of living in the present and healing from the past. I have fond memories of my Grandfather and my pugs...but honestly, all the rest is fading. I like that the good is in my memories rather than the traumatic. It took me a while to get here!

I split an egg up between the dogs each morning, so this morning I had to boil some more. One of them cracked...ooh, who was to visit??? Well, it was the Purolator guy...I guess he could be considered a visitor! :)

A very Happy Chinese New Year to those who celebrate! :) It's the year of the Dog. :) Dogs represent loyalty, friendship and unconditional love. Look at all of this love I get to enjoy every day! :) (...and please do NOT look at my ratty kitchen cabinets excuse is that I'm renting lol!)

This year is all about dog medicine for me! Not only am I devoting myself to my relationship and my furbabes, I'm devoting myself even more to MYSELF, to my health, to my creativity and to my spirit. Remember, you only go around once on this Earth. It's so important to find what gives you bliss...what makes your passions soar and what feeds your spirit.  :)


Fundy Blue said...

Oh my! Just look at all those expectant doggie faces! That is a lot of fur babies ~ but then, what a lot of unconditional love you must get, Rain!

What an inspiring post. I know people who are afraid to be alone, and I know plenty of extroverts who think there is something not quite right with you, if you like being alone. My youngest sister Bertie is a social butterfly. She's the life of the party and is always connecting with people. My sister Donnie and her husband like nothing better than going on a two or three week trip with one or two other couples. I would run to avoid both! LOL

I rarely mind being alone. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I can entertain myself endlessly. Often when I'm out among people, especially at things that demand something of me like being at a dinner party or dance (God forbid!) I have to retreat for several days to "recover." I call it going into my cave. And after a lifetime of commitments as an elementary teacher and union leader, I hate almost all commitments. I like being anonymous.

With my love of nature, it's ironic that I love being in the heart of Waikiki. But I can tune out the people and the commotion and feast on the incredible ocean, sky, and pali ~ And then of course there is Diamond Head which I never tire of seeing. I find the warm, moist ocean air incredibly healing.

I love that you are focusing on yourself, especially such important things as your health, creativity, and spirit. Of course Alex and your fur babies are important, but you can't give your best to them if you are not in a good place yourself. I wish you all the best in the Year of the Dog.

We had a bit of a Chinese New Year celebration at our little hotel because the owners are Chinese. It involved firecrackers, and drums, and two people dressed up as Chinese lions (one of them was an assistant maintenance man) ~ the scrawniest, smallest Chinese lions I've ever seen, but they made up for it with enthusiasm and dancing all over the place.

Sending you a big hug!

Rain said...

Hi Louise :) Thank you for your wonderful comment! :)

I was eating cheese when I snapped that picture of the pack! It's easy to get a great photo of them when I'm holding food! Those dogs give me so much love, I couldn't go a day without it! We have 3 cats too but only one of them is affectionate, the dogs are velcro on me most of the time and I love it! :)

It's interesting what you said about extroverts thinking introverts are "not quite right". We don't think extroverts are not quite right do we? ;) Oh my gosh, a multiple couples vacation sounds worthy of me running too lol...I'm the same, I need to retreat after being out...and it's not like I'm really socializing either, it's just grocery shopping, but I feel all that negative energy from people who are impatient on the road, in the stores and at the cash. You can't pay and pack fast enough for some people and my gosh they let you know...

I just searched for an image of Diamond Head, wow! Lucky you to have that as your view! :) I'm sure your time there will be very healing! That's fun that the hotel celebrated, even a little bit! People don't seem to do that too much unless it's in China Town, a little too far away from me now, but when I was younger and living in Montreal, I used to go to the parade and it was brilliant!

I have to focus on myself. I have a bad tendency to take care of everyone around me and forget what makes me happy. As I turn 50, I'm changing things up slowly. People pleasing isn't always a good thing and I started to lose myself the last half of 2017 after we got the two extra dogs. Now things are more settled, our friend will be taking them back definitely before the fall and they are all getting along so well, so I'm finding myself again! :)

Pam Jackson said...

LOVE the dog pic! Love those faces. Dakota don't care for eggs, mostly cause when I would cook eggs I always cooked enough for him and I think he got bored with them...haha...ANIMALS! I am so glad that you found yourself and found how nice it is to be with YOU. It took me years to find myself. Years to learn to like ME. And I do now. I have always been a social butterfly, always wanted to be with people and I still do, on my good days, but between the fibro, the retirement and me just liking me I find I enjoy so much more time to myself and my furbabes. I still love being out and about but depending on pain and how that has affect the state of mind I sometimes have issues. Sometimes just having several people talking all at once gets all over me, I get so stressed so I pretty much limit my times with others when the "fog" has taken over the mind. As for spending more time with your furry friends...don't you find that having them never, petting or holding them brings comfort? I can be stressed and if I am not over the limit of it, just touching Lily or Dakota helps. If I am OVER the limit of stress, I might snap at one of them, then I feel bad. Do what you need to do for you Rain....50 wow....if I forget, HaPpY BiRtHdAy! You are right at 8 yrs younger than I am....

Martha said...

What a great post, Rain! The messages here are so inspiring. I think we reach a higher level of happiness when the happiness we seek can be found within us. Once we have that, we can then share it with others. I have never minded being alone and I've never felt lonely because of it. I've always been comfortable in my own skin as long as I'm mentally and emotionally balanced.

It's not easy being an introvert, mind you, with society judging us so harshly. Even with all the information out there these days about introversion, people are still critical of this type of personality. I need time alone to re-energize, which most extroverts can't seem to understand. Phooey on them! LOL I'm tired of explaining.

I don't mind being in very busy settings because I have learned to tune out noise and distractions. George finds that pretty amazing because he hasn't quite mastered it. Many times he becomes overwhelmed in very busy settings and needs to retreat. He asks me how I do it and I say it's necessary for survival...HAHA I did live for the first 44 years of my life in a big city, after all, and this skill was absolutely necessary to keep from going mad. Even so, I'll spend so much time in a busy area and then need a significant period of rest to recharge. My first choice, of course, is always being with Mother Nature. Nothing compares to it! Nothing like the sounds of nature to soothe the soul.

Look at all those furry faces! So sweet. So much love is surrounding you!

Lisa said...

February is my birthday month too - turning 53 :) Happy early birthday on the big 50! Enjoy!

wisps of words said...

You have your priorities straight now.... Your next 50 years, will be so much more wonderful, because of this.

It's good, when we discover, who we really, really are. No, I haven't done so entirely. But I am much closer, than I used to be. Progress! :-)

Many, many hugs to you, my Dear.

Rain said...

Hi Pam :) Oh my gosh, I don't think our dogs will ever tire of the eggs lol! Now our husky Charlie turns her nose up at her kibble so unless the eggs are all mixed in, she won't even eat lol. YES....when I'm not feeling well I will often hug the dogs and if I can catch them the cats lol...I was reading about a hormone called oxytocin. It's coined the "love hormone". When you give a hug or a kiss to a loved one, human or critter, you release this hormone and you experience love, comfort and empathy. Pets are not only dear to us and fun to have, but they are therapeutic too! :) Thanks for the bday wishes!!! :)

You mentioned your "fog". For me, when I'm with someone who talks too much or I'm in a social situation, I feel emotionally exhausted and tune out. This is probably the fog you mentioned. It makes me feel overwhelmed, stressed, and sometimes to the point of tears until I can get some peace!

Rain said...

Thanks Martha :) I have had many issues in the past of people pleasing. I never looked inward for my happiness until just recently, maybe a few years ago, but especially this year so far. I'm really enjoying my time with my art and cooking and blogging so much! I love being Rain. :)

Yeah, I don't quite understand the extrovert (generally speaking) who is critical of the introvert. I never will. I'm tired of explaining too! I guess that's why I let go of a lot of my old friends because they were all too social and when I said I couldn't join them, I was the topic of conversation, but it wasn't always so nice as I heard later on. "Anti-social" or "snob" was often a label that was judged and placed on me. Phooey is right! :)

I don't know how I spent all those years in Montreal, knowing that what I really needed was Nature to heal me and revive my spirit. Now, unless it's truly necessary, I can't even think about hopping on the 15. The last time Alex and I drove to Montreal, we both started to feel anxiety once we hit Laval. It only went away when we were driving back home!

Rain said...

Hi Lisa :) Oooh, so I'm not the only one in the birthday boat! Happy 53rd this month!!

Rain said...

Hi Wisps of Words :) Oh, my next 50 years...thank you for putting it that way, it feels longer now! :) I think that our lives really are always a work in progress though. I find it exciting to discover things about myself that I really love!

Magic Love Crow said...

Happy 50th Rain! This post truly spoke to me in every way possible!!! Your beautiful quotes! Loving being ME! Loving nature! Seeing the first 50 years of your life as almost a dream!! Thank you for making this post! Big Hugs!!!

Rain said...

Thanks Magic Love Crow :)) Big Hugs right back! :)

Fundy Blue said...

If I'm remembering right, it's Tuesday and today is your birthday. So happy 50th!!! Wishing you health, happiness, fulfillment, and love!

Rain said...

Thank you Louise!!! :) xxx