Sunday, December 31, 2017

New Year: Taking Charge

The Four Elements:

🌲🌲 Earth: Home and hearth, the physical body; physical health.

🌈🌈 Air: The mind, thought, observation; mental health.

🔥🔥 Fire: The spirit, action, passion; spiritual health.

💧💧 Water: Love, emotions, the heart; emotional health.

Time is a funny thing isn't it? Some moments feel like they will never end; yet now that 2018 is just around the corner, it feels as though time really slipped away from me again this year. Do you notice that, more so as you age? When I was in my 20's, it never even bothered me! I seemed to have all of the time in the world! I'm rounding 50 years old (eek) and my plans are to live well past 100 so I'm trying to have a better outlook...instead of thinking of time flying, I figure I have plenty of time left. :)

A new year brings the temptation for resolutions. Nix that! I was never a resolution gal. I like to think of self-improvement on a daily basis. But a new year is also a very good time to reflect on the last 12 months and assess if you are on the right path and if all of the choices you are making result in improving your life and your happiness.

Sometimes, a certain aspect of your life can seem out of control - and it's not always obvious what the root of this chaos is. During the last 3 months, my life was out of control after our friend, or former friend, I'm still on the fence...dropped his 2 dogs off and never came back. You all know how challenging that was for me and for Alex. Our routines were messed up, our finances took a hit, our peace of mind and tranquility disappeared. Alex developed pretty bad insomnia and my anxiety was through the roof.

I drew cards many times for help and advice. The element of water came up each and every time over the last few months. I knew that my emotions were in need of help but couldn't figure out how to help myself. Finally, I asked a different question to my Tarot deck and drew a fire card. Suddenly the light bulb moment happened. To restore my emotions, I need to restore my spirit. My biggest issue is being a people pleaser. It's not a good thing, though it sounds like it is. The problem is that I routinely put myself LAST. It does nobody any good, especially myself. I guess some bad habits born out of my upbringing will always stick with me. I have to always remind myself that I matter too and that my needs are just as important!

It's not the first time I've neglected my spirit and felt wackily out of balance! Once I dedicated some time each day to my spiritual health, poof! My emotions calmed, my aches and pains lessened and my mind stopped running me in circles. After I was able to find balance, Alex was able to stop worrying about me and he found balance too. The eight fur-kids are all getting along now, we love them all so much, we have a good attitude and we are being very firm in our decisions - we have a plan and we're sticking to it! It feels good! :)

Are you out of balance at the end of this year? Do you need to take charge of any area of your life?  Are you on the right path for you? Do you need a little guidance? Think about the elements and what they represent. I can draw an element card for you if you wish, then you can think about how this element represents something that you need to take charge of!

🎉 Happy New Year to everyone! I wish you all health, happiness, prosperity, peace of mind and love! 🎉

Friday, December 29, 2017

White Poplar and Aspen Tree Message

I've been really spending a lot of time with my new Oracle deck and I'm learning so much. I wonder if my high school curriculum were as interesting, would I have enjoyed school more? :)

I decided to draw a card today, just to broadcast a little message for today...and for the next few days, to think about the new year, the old year, what you'd like to leave behind, to change, to plan, to know, the usual food for thought! :)

The message of the White Poplar and Aspen tree is this: Let go of your leaves like we do. You will grow new ones. Go into silence as you prepare for winter. Stand tall. Prepare for the new cycle of the year to come, because it will always come.

This is how I think of this card: Accept what life has given you. Trust that you will grow new "leaves" as time goes by. Endure the hard, cold seasons of your life and learn from them...strengthen from them. Never lose hope or faith. Spring, warmth and renewal will always be there when you are ready to welcome them. We need to get through winter to really appreciate the beauty and joy of spring. 💚

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Martha's Christmas Future Card

Martha, as I said to Wisps of Words, I felt great peace and joy drawing a card for you. I hope you enjoy it, and please ask me anything!

Martha's Christmas Future Card:

Princess of Swords

Fairy Tale: Thumbelina

Once upon a time, there was a woman who wanted a child more than ever. A witch granted her wish and created a little girl for her from a seed, she was no bigger than the woman's thumb, so she called her Thumbelina. 

Living a human life didn't suit Thumbelina and she dreamed of living in the flowers and fields. Sensing her dreams, a toad came to her and took her away to his pond so that she could marry his son, but discarded her for her odd looks. Many critters did the same thing all summer long. Winter was on its way and Thumbelina grew scared of the cold. She met a mouse family who offered her a warm bed for the winter. During this time, she was encouraged to grow friendly with the mouse's neighbour a mole. Thumbelina wasn't too fond of Mr. Mole, but needed a place to live so she pretended that she enjoyed his company. One day while on a walk, Thumbelina stumbled across an injured swallow and nursed him to health. During the coldest months of winter, the mouse family insisted that Thumbelina marry Mr. Mole, this made her miserable because she felt obliged and trapped; but she agreed.

On her wedding day, she wished for someone to take her away. Just then, the swallow came back and offered to fly her away to a land that never grew cold so that she could live in the flowers. The swallow dropped her off on a flower where a little male sprite sat very lonely. They fell in love and lived happily ever after. :)

The Blessings that 2018 will bring:

Swords represent air, symbolizing observation and thought. Drawing a Princess card represents youth and vitality. It can also represent the birth of something...maybe a new skill, a new idea or a new activity. Maybe your drawing will take a new turn? Painting? :) 

This card hints that you will start a new stage in your life. I love that. I personally believe it has to do with your attitude and the way you think. Maybe you'll have ideas that will bring you more childlike fun, more whimsy. What you may have thought as a serious stress before won't even occur to you if you follow Thumbelina's message to just go for it! Fly away to what brings warmth to your heart, mind and spirit!

Another great symbol here is the Swallow. This brings renewal and hope. The Princess and the Swallow are reminding you to put your ideas first and have fun. Birds are observant creatures, and because you drew an Air card, I think another important message is to keep your mind open to opportunity and any kind of invitation that will help bring those ideas to mind.

Oh and just for fun, Swords represent the spring, the morning hours, a waxing moon and the colour yellow if you want to try to find some more meaning to this card Martha! :)

Wisps of Words' Christmas Future Card

I felt a lot of peace and joy when I drew the cards for you Wisps of Words, and for Martha too! I'm happy to have been able to do this! Ask me anything!

Wisps of Words' Christmas Future Card

Three of Wands

Fairy Tale: Hok Lee and the Dwarves

Once upon a time, there lived a very hard working man named Hok Lee. He was looked at with honour among his friends because he was a good man. But nobody knew that Hok Lee led a double life as a nocturnal thief. But fate does catch up and one morning, Hok Lee woke up with a swelled right cheek. The swelling kept getting bigger and bigger. The people who had looked at him with honour once, now saw him as a bad omen and wanted nothing to do with him. No doctor would see him and everyone suspected he was up to some kind of evil.

He saw a witch doctor in town who told him that for a very large sum of money, he would bring him to the dwarves who would cure him in the forest at the next full moon. The dwarves were not happy to see Hok Lee and told him to dance and he would be cured; but if he didn't dance well, he would be cursed. Hok Lee didn't make any effort to dance and left the forest. The next morning, his left cheek swelled.

Feeling humiliated, Hok Lee went back to the forest at the next full moon - having endured a month of hostility from the village. He asked the dwarves to give him a second chance and he let his spirit soar and danced marvelously for hours. Suddenly the forest went dark. He felt his face and he was cured.

Hok Lee danced all the way home, feeling gratitude and thanking the dwarves out loud with joy; and he vowed never to steal again. Instead he turned his life around to help other thieves change their ways and lead more honest lives.

The Blessings that 2018 will bring:

Wands represent fire - action, passion and spirit. Threes represent the trinity of life...which usually symbolizes maturation, fulfillment and achievement.

This card strongly symbolizes that you have learned from the past. The message is that you cannot change your past, but you can accept it and use it to develop new ways to use your skills and be creative. This is opportunity knocking, it's an energy card. Don't hide, accept what has happened and put your entire spirit into making your life good for you.

I saw this more as a present card when I read it, even though I thought about what 2018 would bring! But the more I think about this card, I think that the blessings that you will enjoy in 2018 are on the same track as the blessings you have been enjoying already. Whatever choices you make in the next year will bring you fulfillment. You know what you want and this card says that you have the energy to accomplish it! 

Dwarves are guardians of the Earth's mysteries. They have great knowledge, wit and speech. They prefer life in the forest than with the bustle of society. With that in mind and since this is a spirit card, perhaps you might bring more things into your life that feed your spirit through connecting with the Earth...maybe a daily walk, setting up a bird feeder to watch the critters; or some quiet daily meditation by a window; or just enjoying more of nature and the skies might be something that brings joy to your spirit and inspires you. Since the dwarves have wonderful knowledge and wit, have you thought of writing? Despite his early resistance, when he let himself go, dancing brought healing and joy to Hok the card is telling you to step out of your comfort zone and let your spirit soar...find something that makes you feel that gratitude. The action card suggests that you will follow through on some ideas and will enjoy the fruits of your labour! :)

Wisps of Words, if you want to try to think more about this card and the message: Wands represent the summer, the noon hour, a full moon and the colour red.

Monday, December 25, 2017

The Ghosts of Christmas

Merry Christmas to all of my friends!!

Thank you so much for participating in my deep thoughts! 😉 I wasn't sure if I wanted to write a blog like this but I'm so happy that I did. I have been able to express lots of ideas and thoughts I have; and the most wonderful part is the feedback. I gain a lot of insight from other people - your thoughts and experiences get me thinking and it makes me a better person. So thank you! 💓

A Christmas Carol - a masterpiece (in my view) of the spirit of Christmas. Not just a great novel, it made several great favourite being the Mickey Mouse version!  But more than the spirit of Christmas and the lessons that Ebeneezer Scrooge had to learn, this is a good opportunity to contemplate what the Ghosts of Christmas represent! :)

My Christmas Past: I have successfully managed to rid myself of all of the toxic people in my life, that was one of the greatest accomplishments to date! There are a few thought processes that I'm in the midst of changing, though it's a battle, I'm conquering it day by day. But one thing I have been neglecting lately is my mental health management. In order to stay off pharmaceuticals, there are certain supplements, exercises and meditations that I must do daily to stay healthy. As my friends know, my challenge has been pet-related lately. I have put myself aside to take good care of our furry kids. With Alex's insomnia, I've been burning the candle at both ends and I have been suffering. But, as of a few days ago, I put my routines back into place and I'm already feeling so much better. No matter what crisis lands at my doorstep, I have to keep this plan in place. The idea that I have to put myself last is now in my "Christmas Past"!

My Christmas Present: Besides getting back to my mental health management routine, I do believe that the best things I do for myself daily is spiritual. I read Tarot cards daily and I contemplate life daily. I watch the skies and I really enjoy being out in nature. I hug my favourite tree too. :) I make sure that romance is part of my every day life as well and I'm lucky that Alex is the same way. All of these important things ground me and help me to enjoy each day and feel appreciation and gratitude for everything and everyone I have in my life.

My Christmas Future: For this, I can only hope for what will bless me in 2018! But to gain a little insight, I thought about the card I drew. I've mentioned that my favourite Tarot deck is all about fairy tales. Well the card I drew was The Summer Queen. The Summer Queen defeated the Winter Giant to bring 6 months of warmer weather to the earth to ensure that humanity wouldn't be extinct. After a fierce battle, the Winter Giant conceded to 6 months of cold weather and he retreated to the far north from spring to autumn. According to this tale, this was how people began the yearly cycle of planting, harvesting and resting. The Summer Queen was so adored by the people that she became known as Mother Earth.

I love that I drew this card. I feel like I'm getting the message that my garden will flourish this season as long as I plan it well and nourish it all summer. :)

What about you? Do you have things to leave in your Christmas Past? What do you think you're doing well right now in your Christmas Present?

Would you like me to draw a card for your Christmas Future? I'd be so SO happy to do that and give you my thoughts on the meaning!! :)

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Winter Solstice - Return of the Sun!

A lovely Winter Solstice to you all!

I love this day. I love all of the seasons and the holidays, but this day is so special because it marks the end of the dark season. I am someone who needs her sunshine, so the hope of each day lasting just a little bit longer is great for my spirit! Especially as we enter the coldest winter months here in the Laurentians. I tend to get a little bit of cabin fever by end of January and having the longer days and the bright sunshine really helps to lift my mood. Not to mention, I'm this much closer to porch season!!! :) Eegad, and bug season...okay I'll focus on the good stuff lol!

Many people talk about gratitude and the benefits of feeling it. I think that feeling grateful is a gateway to true happiness. When I feel grateful for what I have in my life, it makes the past traumas fade away and the plans for the future more realistic and attainable. Not very long ago, I had zero gratitude for my life. I felt like I was dealt a bad hand and all I could think about was how I could get out of that mess. The past was suffocating me and my desire for a different future was tormenting me. Of course, a lot had to do with depression. 

But once I was able to manage that issue, I started to slowly shift my way of thinking. I started to write a "gratitude journal". Every night before bed, I wrote down at least five things that I felt grateful for that day. At first it was forced, didn't feel natural at all. But after a while, I came up with dozens of wonderful things that made my day bright and warm. Practice makes perfect so to speak!

Now I live with gratitude. I'm so appreciative of Alex, the pets and the home we have. I'm grateful for my hobbies, my talents and the comfort I create. I'm so grateful for nature and being lucky enough to live up north. And during my best moments, I even feel grateful that I live in this noisy little village because it beats the worse noise in Montreal! 

What brightens up your day? 

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Domestic Bliss

I feel like this sometimes! I've really created a different kind of life for myself the last few years. Everything is different from....whence I came. (I've been waiting to use that word lol). Really though, I've built a cozy, quiet, hermit-style life here with Alex and the pets. When I step out my door into society, I feel uncomfortable. The realities of living in our world can be depressing and violent. To me, reality is more insane than insanity. Hmmm...that's a noodle-scratcher.

I gave up television about six years ago and I rarely if never read the news. I know what's going on in the world, but I refuse to get caught up in all of it now. A former friend of mine was really big on politics and current events. She called me ignorant because I didn't really care about everything that was considered "newsworthy". I told her I'm quite content being ignorant. Obviously it was a clash of personalities and that friendship fizzled! Even though it didn't affect me personally here in Quebec, 9-11 really traumatized me. I was working at the time at a day-trading firm and we had CNN on 24-7. I was glued to that station for weeks and since then, I'm ultra-sensitive to tragedies and war. My heart went out to all of those people who suffered to the point where I was having a hard time dealing with it emotionally. I don't mind being ignorant to save my emotional health anymore. 

When people start talking about current events, I feel myself drifting off and thinking about what seeds I'll be planting in my garden this spring 😪. I do my best impression of staying interested, but it's no use...I just don't care enough. I can talk about bread baking 'til the cows come home, but the subject of foreign affairs is like a sleeping pill.

I came up with this Tarot spread recently and it got me thinking a lot about how I live my life. The last question especially. I used to always live for the future, and that makes the present unbearable. When I shifted things around and started to live the way I wanted to, I really felt like I was finally "home". I still have dreams for my future with Alex that I'm working towards; but I'm making it a point every day to enjoy what I have NOW. As the saying goes, you never know how long you'll have it, so seize the day. My philosophy is leave the past where it should be, live and enjoy life now and work for your future dreams. Usually I do all of this very well, though sometimes the past gets lonely and needles me down memory lane, until I tell it to buzz off and bug someone else for a change!

I've gotten to a point where my home life is the most important thing to me. I'm building a home where I never want to leave! Alex and I don't have the house we want, we're still renting, and honestly the village is still a little too populated for our liking, but we are making this place a home as best we can. We dream about living on a property that's only accessible by canoe in the summer and snowmobile in the winter! Oh and a mote with a crocodile pit would be nice lol... But we aren't the types who need other people in our lives, we're so content with each other and with our pets. Even the monthly trip to the grocery store is nicknamed "the dreaded shopping day" lol...our goal is self-sufficiency, but we are realistic too. We will always have to sneak our way into society once in a while, as long as we quickly get back to our haven, I guess that's okay.

There is a trend towards homesteading and self-reliance lately. The reason could be financial, or it could be societal. Some want that lifestyle for philosophical and environmental reasons. Or they want a quiet life where they can choose when and where they interact with society too. For us, it's completely about a quiet, reclusive life surrounded by nature. We don't need a lot of money or material "stuff", but we do need the basics and a tranquil surrounding. 

What about you? Has society worn you out to the point where you dream of a hermit-style life like me? Are you more of a hustle and bustle city dweller? Or are you somewhere in between? What is your dream life, are you living it? I think I'm living it more or less, there are a few big changes coming up, but home is where my heart is. To my detriment or not, my heart rules me, so home is where I never want to leave.

Friday, December 8, 2017

What Is A Promise?

With all of our stress lately from having the extra pets and being left wondering how long we'll have to care for them, I've been focusing way too much on the people in my life who have lied to me, broken promises and broken my trust. I hate that my mind is veering towards those bad memories, but I guess it's my way of trying to come to terms with my current situation. I'm always trying to see the bright side, but the darkness is creeping in more than I like lately and writing about it helps. I hate being negative, but sometimes positivity escapes me.

So, I ask you, what is a promise? 

This is something I struggle with and have struggled with since I was a child. If someone says they will do something and they find an excuse not to, did they break a promise? Or if they vow they won't do something hurtful again, and their anger takes over, resulting in them causing hurt again, is it forgivable because they couldn't help themselves or because they are family?

My mother used to always say "just accept the fact that you can't choose your family". Yes, she was right, but she said it meaning that family could do whatever they wanted to you and you had to forgive them. I couldn't choose them, but I chose to leave them.

Here is one I've heard a zillion times: It was never really a promise because they never said the exact words "I promise". Do you give them a second chance and the benefit of the doubt that the excuse is legitimate? Are they justified in letting me down if they apologize but don't make up for it?

And what if this becomes a habit? Am I to blame by placing too much trust in people when they say they'll do something, then feel so disappointed when they don't? Or does the habitual excuse-maker not take what he or she says seriously enough to follow through? If I keep trusting, am I the fool? Is it time to leave them behind?  Aaargh!!!

This is what goes through my brain when I lack gosh, it feels like I'm thinking too hard, maybe my migraine wasn't hormonal maybe it was "over-thinkish" lol...I'm sure there are varying answers to all of these questions...I wish I didn't question everything so much, I drive myself batty at times! :)

I am someone who actually listens to everything people say to me. I remember things that have been said or discussed for years, good and bad. If someone says they'll do something, then they don't, I wonder if I'm to blame because I get my hopes up too much.

I know I can't change anyone, I can't make anyone act when they say they will, when they promise they will. I can't make anyone see the value in having integrity and trustworthiness. I often wonder if people break your trust because they simply don't care that you are in their lives and they are waiting for you to walk away from them and be the "bad guy".

Problem is, no matter how much I tell a person how they are losing my trust; or how much I desperately want to, if they don't want to change, it will always happen if I let it. If I continue to let it happen, the trust and confidence I have in that person slowly chips away. At first I feel hurt and let down, but the more it happens, I get to the point where I just don't take them seriously anymore and I wonder why I bother even thinking they should be in my life anymore.

Anyway, just food for thought, I'm feeling better already letting this out! :)

Friday, December 1, 2017

Rapunzel's Tower

Most people will know the fairy tale of Rapunzel. The lonely trapped young girl whose long hair was the only way anyone could climb up to her window in the tower where she was kept.

My Tarot card deck is called The Fairy Tale Tarot. I relate so much to fairy tales, I just love their meanings...not the Disney versions mind you, the original tales. Rapunzel signifies feeling trapped, longing for your "happily ever after" but not having the confidence to take the next step.

Are you Rapunzel? :)

I was for a long time. In 2003, I had a pretty severe burnout and the nine years that followed were what I refer to as my "hell on earth" time. I lost everything that year: my car, my condo on the mountain (that was the hardest hit, my very first home!), all of my "toys" (tools, electronics etc)...I was forced to move to a loud crappy apartment back in Montreal. I felt trapped by my condition, I couldn't see a happily ever after. I remember my p-doc (that's psychiatrist) telling me in 2003 that the average length of time it takes to start feeling better after burnout is 7 years. It was quite shocking, I didn't believe her. She was a great p-doc though, she fought with our workman's compensation board here to convince them that due to the events leading to the burnout, my quality of life would suffer for the rest of my life. Again, I didn't believe her. Maybe it was more like I couldn't believe her.

But...after enduring all that challenge and difficulty, I finally realized in 2010 that this was it. I was so grateful for my income but very bitter about having to live with mental health illness. I had to accept what was going on and live with it; and work really hard to manage it. The other option was to continue living like a drugged-up zombie, sleeping 14-18 hours a day and zoning out to The Weather Network for the rest of the time. This was not a life and I knew if I didn't make changes, I wouldn't be around long. In fact, I'd made a secret pact with myself that when my pugs died, I probably would too. I hope that's not shocking to anyone, but this is the reality of what many people with mental health illness live with. It's quite unbearable. 

I decided to spend a few days just thinking, researching and reading about people who had managed to come out of the dark pit. I made my decision, I wasn't going to let the burnout and my condition kill me. That's when I decided to go off meds, which took almost 2 years in total.

I started to think of my situation, how trapped I felt. But after only a few months of lowering the doses of meds, I started to really think clearly. I started exercising again and lost 97 of the over 100 pounds I'd put on because of the meds. I got my finances in order, I got my teeth fixed (I had 8 broken teeth from constant grinding) and I moved from Quebec to Prince Edward Island for a fresh start - I only brought me and the pugs, and anything that fit in my little Hyundai at the time! Being in a completely new environment (from mountains to the ocean) was the key to making my changes, because I had extra motivation. I did have difficulties of course, and times when I wanted to run back to the p-doc for renewed prescriptions...but I held on. I moved back after a year though, I couldn't handle not being in the mountains anymore.

After 19 years of being single, at age 43, I decided to start dating again in late 2011. That experience will be for another post lol...anyone know first hand about how crazy online dating is??? I had to be 100% honest and I wrote about my burnout, the depression/anxiety that I was managing, and what I really wanted in life and in a man. I figured I'd get zero hits, but surprisingly a lot of men found my honesty refreshing. I met Alex in 2013 and that was all she wrote. :)

Being trapped by near-bankruptcy and mental health illness is frightening. You can't spend money, you can't get money and you're too sick to find your energy - it's like you are completely trapped and cannot make any changes to your situation. In the end, my p-doc was right, but in my case it took about nine years for me to really feel confident and whole again, despite the daily struggle to manage things.

You've heard the question: "If you went back, would you change anything?" To me, that's extremely thought provoking because if I never burned out and suffered so long...would I have met Alex? I'm the happiest I've ever been, but I can't bring myself to say "yes, I'd do it all over again". I'll take a pass on that question! What about you? Are you trapped? What can you do to find a way out? Were you trapped in the past and how did you manage to turn things around? And...would you do it all over again? ;)

Friday, November 17, 2017

New Moon

If you read the Tarot or do any kind of spiritual rituals associated with the Moon, then this is the time to work on new beginnings, changes and starting new projects. We are at the beginning of November's New Moon and the skies are dark! This is a wonderful time for star gazing if you are lucky enough, to be able to see the stars. When Alex and I first met, I moved back to the city to live with him, because he worked and I didn't and well, we just couldn't live without each other thing I missed terribly was seeing the stars. With Montreal's city lights, the stars just weren't visible. I feel really grateful to live out in the mountains with no city lights blocking my view of the sky.

I am a skywatcher, that's for sure. I'm a nature-lover too, so I pay attention to everything that goes on around me, skies, woods, mountains and critters. I thought about things today, I need to make some new attitude adjustments and I need to refresh my spirit a little bit. The last few months have been tough and have caused great doubt and anxiety within me. Suddenly I'm worried about the future, about when my income will dry up, if we can really afford to live our simple lifestyle while saving for a home and paying down debt...then those what if' know them! :)

What if I get sick? What if the dogs need vet care? What if the car dies? What if what if what if...I had to put a stop to it, it was making me the perfect candidate for the loony bin.

For those unaware, I am very spiritual and I don't talk about it much, but if I were categorized, I'd say I was a Pagan. I believe that practical magic can happen all around us if we have good intentions and take action. I am also a realist. I don't believe in "fantasy" type the sense that I don't believe that I can conjure up a hurricane to seek revenge on society or anything silly like that...but I do believe that if I set my intentions to something, and do everything I can to make these ideas and wishes come true, then I can accomplish anything.

Having said that, I decided to do a little snow ritual - since we have snow!!! I'm taking the advice of the New Moon and making a new change. I'm not going to allow my doubts and fears to take over my thoughts - it's so destructive. I've accepted that my life will be topsy turvy until we figure out what will happen with the two new dogs and I'm done being mad at their owner. I just want to focus on taking care of them and enjoying my life again. So, I went outside a little while ago in the dark of the New Moon. I thought about all the negative stuff I've been feeling lately as I formed a nice big snowball. After a deep breath, I threw the snowball as far as I could and made the decision to release the old and start new. Sometimes when we attach a physical action to a thought, it really becomes a lot more powerful!

My intentions are good and I really just want to feel happy and positive and move on with my life with all the plans I've made despite the obstacles! 

Monday, November 13, 2017

Growing Old Together

Are you a fan of Woody Allen's movies? I'm not a fan of his personal choices, but I do love most of his movies! His movies are all mostly about relationships, and in "Husbands and Wives", the premise is based on a couple who recently separated. The two of them act as though it's the best thing that could ever have happened to them and they are so nonchalant about it. They both claim they love being single and want to remain the best of friends. Then as time sets in, they both realize that they are "the type of people who need to be married".

Alex and I aren't married and likely won't ever take that step. We're okay with being a common-law couple as they say, we know it's forever. There was a time though, that I never wanted to be in a relationship. I was single until I met Alex, with a few very distant immature relationships in my teens and early twenties. Now I can't imagine being on my own again. I need to be in a relationship...not "need" as in desperate, but "need" as in feeling fulfilled. Alex is the same way, thought he'd be a bachelor his whole life because he never found someone who made him happy. He said when he met me, he realized he didn't ever want to be alone again. We both want to be happy and secure with each other, and we have our ups and downs; but for the most part we try to do everything we can to communicate and treat each other well. We do feel that we were meant for each other and it feels nice knowing that we will continue to grow together - and grow old together!

It's funny how I had such a firm philosophy on my singlehood! But from the very beginning of our relationship, everything just felt right. We moved in together a week after we met, yes we did lol...and I know that for most people that is a recipe for disaster, but for us, it seemed the natural thing to do! It worked for us, we've been together over four years now and going strong! Despite our age difference, we have so much in common. I really thought that I would have had to settle for less if I wanted to be in a relationship, I'm happy I was wrong!

My fraternal grandparents were together for 60 years. They always seemed so content. In fact, a sad but sweet fact is that two months after my grandma passed away, so did my grandpa, he was inconsolable when she died. My maternal grandfather died young and my maternal grandmother never remarried, she liked to be single.

I know there are people out there who prefer the single life. Are you one of those people? Or are you one of those people who "needs to be married" or in a couple? Do you feel you are with your soul mate, the person you are meant to grow old with? Or do you much prefer to be alone? If it's not too personal, I'd love to hear what people have to say on this subject!



By the way, a little superstitious folklore for today: If the thirteenth day after Halloween falls on a Friday, all persons born on that day will possess the power of the evil eye. If I had the "power" of the evil eye, I wonder if I'd use it for good or for evil lol? I'm sure we've all been the victim of someone's evil eye at times! It doesn't quite turn you to stone, but if sure does feel cold!

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Full Beaver Moon

Tonight is November's Full Beaver Moon. The Algonquin tribes named it the Beaver Moon to remind themselves that this is the time of year to set the traps to catch the beavers so that they would have warm pelts for the winter to come. Tonight's moon is also called the Frost Moon, for obvious reasons, at least here up north! :)

I usually post a Tarot spread that I've put together with meaningful questions and thought-provoking ideas. But that can also happen without the spread, I thought I'd do a few posts now and then about moons, lore and totems.

Totems (or Animal Spirits) came originally from North American Indian tribes ages ago. These people lived by nature and put symbols and meaning to everything around them. I'm fascinated by it, and I find it rings very true for my own beliefs.

The Beaver totem has a lot to teach us. They are extremely industrious and hard-working animals. This teaches us to work hard to achieve our goals. Do you ever see a beaver give up on building his or her dam?

Beavers are flexible and adaptable as well. Despite our climate change and the seemingly shift of the four seasons, the beaver is still in harmony with his and her environment and alter their plans to meet their needs.

The beaver pelts are soft yet very durable because they are waterproof. The idea of repelling hardships in a graceful way comes to mind! (I need that message these days!!) :)

I think that the most important message the Beaver has to offer is that we have to act on our dreams to make them a reality. It's nice to wish and daydream, but without action, that's all they are, wishes.

I spent far too many years wishing for things, but I never took the necessary steps to make those wishes become reality. I've changed that these days. Every day I'm learning new skills, honing in on current ones, and working towards home ownership and most of all a joyful life without regret. Is there any action that you need to take to make one of your dreams come true? If so, ask yourself, why haven't you taken that action yet? What's stopping you? 

Alex and I watched a documentary on baby beavers being reintroduced into the wild and our hearts melted. We both said at the same time "I want a beaver" lol...we're suckers for any animal. Heck, maybe they'd help us build our house if we trained them well lol!

Friday, November 3, 2017

Letting Go Of Anger

My life is pretty much an open book. I guess many years of therapy to recover from burnout and childhood does that to a person! You just get used to talking about everything that nothing really phases you! I used to be more private, but what the heck, I'm comfortable with who I am now. :)

I've been open about the anger I'm am still sadly holding on to for the person who left his dogs with us and abandoned them. I think what bothers me along with his behaviour/attitude is the uncertainty of what will happen to the dogs. Are they ours temporarily, or is it permanent? After taking care of them for a year, will they be pulled away from me after I've bonded with them? I love those dogs and will do anything to help them, but how is all of this fair to us? We've been left on the back burner. 

I will also admit that it took me DECADES to forgive my parents for their treatment. What I failed to stubbornly understand is that forgiveness isn't about letting anyone off the hook - it's really about not allowing those people to hurt you anymore, releasing the anger and moving on. I was brought up to believe that forgiveness was mandatory no matter what a person did to you, if you didn't forgive them, you were going to hell and they were allowed to basically get away with murder so to speak.

True forgiveness really isn't easy to do, at least for me. I've forgiven the family now, but they are no longer any part of my life and it's been like that for over ten years now. I've never been emotionally healthier so there is no regret, I finally put myself first and stopped listening to the guilt trips and lies. Life can't always be about pleasing others. We only have one life here on earth and we must live for our own happiness right?

But this guy...what he did to his's irking me still. I'm not so much angry as resentful and full of pity for the two sweetest dogs you could ever meet. I'm really working on forgiving him, for ME, not for him. Sometimes it takes me a little while to release anger and negative feelings, but I have to keep reminding myself that I should never allow someone else's actions to affect my mood, my emotions and my lifestyle. I don't think it's a quick fix though. Time will be my best friend with this venture!

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Autumn Harvest

I woke up to some snow this morning, not a lot but enough to coat the ground and give an "inside and out" chill to the body! Actually the roads were slick with ice so taking the dogs out was a challenge. I need to bring out my winter crampons for mornings like this!

A new season is here. The beginning of winter showed itself this morning, what great timing! I was really hoping for my first snow-free Halloween! :) We were up late watching movies and snacking on WAY too much chocolate!! 

So, looking back on the fall season, which was so short for us this year...what stands out? What brought you joy and gratitude? Is there anything you still need to do, in preparation for winter or just to ease your spirit and improve your life? Is there any change that needs to be made? Change doesn't happen on its own, so what will you do to make a positive change in your life?

I had some forced changes placed on me this fall...but I'm grateful for the opportunity to take care of our two foster doggies...they needed us. :) This threw a big wrench in my beloved routines! But I was able to adapt and I feel my heart has opened up even more now. 

Autumn has a lot to teach us if we are open to the lessons:

If you have a garden, autumn is harvest time. This is so rewarding and the lesson is that working towards a goal will always be rewarding, even if the harvest isn't what you expected!

Balance...the days are shorter, we need to adjust to the darkness and the cold, damp weather. Are you able to balance your life during darker, colder times?

There is a reason why our middle aged lives are called the "autumn years". Do you lament your youth? Honestly I used to, but I'm really enjoying myself these days, my life now is so fulfilling, nothing like it was when I was younger.

Autumn trees shed their leaves, but this is the time of year when they are at their most glorious. After months of being green, they were just waiting for their chance to reveal their most stunning self and shine. Are you ready to shine, or are you still too "green"? That's a good one to think about too! :)

Autumn teaches us that nothing is permanent, trees don't hang on to their foliage, they let it go, knowing that it's time to move on.  Do you need to let anything go? Are you accepting of change?

The wonderful thing about trees is though, they always come back to life in the spring. Renewal after a long rest. Do you allow yourself to rest and renew? Are there things you need to change in that respect?

Does Autumn teach you any lessons you'd like to share?

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Halloween: The Haunted House

Happy Halloween!
Blessed Samhain!
Merry All Hallow's Eve!

Today is a day of fun for me! I've been decorating all morning, lighting candles in the pumpkins and planning our fun menu.

It's also a very thought-provoking and spiritual day for me. I don't follow any particular spirituality, but I do honour my Celtic roots and my ancestors, I live by the seasons and feel very in touch with the earth around me. Samhain/Halloween marks the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter - which is a new year in my world! 

I still celebrate the calendar new year for fun, but tonight really does end that seasonal year for me. My ancestors lived off the land for their existence and celebrated a year of hard work and preparation on this eve with bonfires, harvest dinners, honouring those who have passed on, divination and spending time thinking about what to leave behind and what to welcome in the new year. This is also a time to welcome the coming of winter, which is a season for rest, contemplation and planning.

I also take some time to do some self-improvement by thinking about my life and the path I'm taking. This is a good Tarot spread to do or just to read to provoke some good thoughts for positive change. I am also thinking a LOT about my two pugs who passed away in 2011 and 2014.

Winston and Spencer, the loves of my life! :)

I got these two in 1995. Winston stayed with me until he was 16 years old and Spencer until he was 19 years old. Winston was the tough guy of the family...always trying to be in charge! Spencer was a meek little fella, losing one eye at 2 years old and eventually going blind and deaf when he was 10 years old. These two were my wonderful companions and I still miss them terribly, they will never be forgotten!

Monday, October 23, 2017

Insight Into Dreams

Do you dream? Well, we all do, I guess the better question is do you remember your dreams? If so, do you analyze them? I think we only tend to analyze the bad dreams. I know that if I have a positive, happy dream, I feel no need to analyze it!

But it's those nightmares that disturb me. Since I was eight years old, I have had the same recurring nightmare: 

It's late at night and I'm walking alone on a country road in silence. I pass by a rickety old house with a large porch and a picket fence around it. I feel uncontrollably drawn to the house, so I open the gate, it creeks of course!...then I walk up the stairs and I am facing the screen door - it's so dark I can't see in. Suddenly I see a pair of eyes staring down at me. I squint my eyes to focus and I see a man looking at me with the whites of his eyes. He is a priest, he is blind and he means me harm.

In terror, I turn away and run down the stairs, open the gate and run down the road. The blind priest is right behind me, jumping down the stairs and over the gate. He is wearing a big black hat and a ripped black robe. He sees me though he's blind, I can't run fast enough, I feel his long finger nails scratching at my back, breaking my skin as I run for my life. The road ahead of me is dark and it never seems to end. I can feel my breath leaving me.

Then I wake up, sweating and terrified and sometimes screaming. I had this nightmare almost nightly until my early twenties. It went away for about 9 years when I was on anti-depressants and tranquilizers for the panic attacks...well, I would say no surprise there...those pharmaceuticals really turned me into a zombie. Only a few months after I stopped all the meds, the nightmare came back.  I would say I roughly have this nightmare at least twice a month if not more often.

I've done analysis (both self and professional) and I know what it's supposed to mean. It explains most of the realities that I lived through in my childhood...I was supposed to have dealt with all of that in therapy, so why does it not go away? And what on earth triggers that blind priest to keep terrifying me during my sleep?

Do you have recurring nightmares? Or better yet, recurring nice dreams? If one night I wake up remembering that me and the priest were laughing and enjoying a picnic together I think I might go nuts finally lol...but it would be nice to have some kind of closure and never have that nightmare ever again! If you're interested, here are two interesting dream-analysis sites:

They are basic with "user-friendly" Freudian analyses, but they really make you think a little further about what your dreams could mean!

Friday, October 13, 2017

Friday the 13th: Fear

October has to be my favourite month of the year, mainly because of Halloween! I also love the weather, and we are lucky enough to have a Friday the 13th as well! Are you superstitious? Do you see this day as something to dread? I actually worked with a young girl who called in sick every Friday the 13th because she honestly felt something bad would happen to her.

I am superstitious in certain ways, but I don't believe that today is unlucky. In fact, so far I'm having a great day. It's not a bad time of the year to face your fears though. I do unfortunately suffer debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. I've done years of therapy, did the medication thing, tried the natural remedies and healthy lifestyle...nothing seems to cure it.

I had a really bad attack last night, why? Your guess is as good as mine, but it lasted way too long for my liking. No matter what I do, I just cannot pinpoint what is causing this. How I currently deal with it is as much prevention as possible. But when it does rear its ugly head, I'm glad that Alex helps me. He reminds me to do my yoga breathing, it's called Alternate Nostril Breathing (which really helps, follow the link if you need to relax!). He also quickly looks on YouTube for something silly to watch to help me laugh. Last night, he loaded up a bunch of "Jiminy Glick" episodes. If you're never heard of this, it's Martin Short in a huge fat suit interviewing people very inappropriately - really funny stuff.

These two things (yoga breathing and laughing) seem to be the only temporary cures for panic. I'm still working on more prevention though. I think it'll be something I have to live with my entire life, which brings on its own fear. Bad cycle and ironically my biggest fear causes it. Ugh!!!

Monday, October 9, 2017

Our Traditions

My life has been a bit of chaos the last few weeks. Slowly but surely we are adjusting to the addition of two new dogs. I have to admit anger took some time to fade. For anyone who doesn't know the story, a friend of ours basically dumped his dogs on us by asking us to babysit a few weeks while he went to Europe for his father's funeral; then emailed us saying he will likely not be back.

But one thing I REFUSE to do is to EVER let anyone ruin my positive outlook on life. Initially yes, I lost even more faith in people; but that also fades as the shock of the situation gets real. My biggest motto is that I can't change others, but I CAN change me.

So with that in mind, I didn't change my Thanksgiving plans whatsoever! Yes, it's a challenge to create a nice holiday ambiance and cook a turkey dinner with five dogs milling around me! Not to mention sneaky cats trying to get at the food while I'm busy shoo-ing the dogs away lol...No matter what Alex does to coax the pets to stay with him in his office, they always end up back in the kitchen...who can blame them? :) Instead of letting our (former?) friend's bad behaviour affect me, I'm thinking how thankful I am that we have two new additions to the fur family and that they have us to take care of them. 

I haven't had good memories of holidays ever, they were always fraught with anger, stress and fear. I actually denounced all holidays for most of my adult life due to those experiences growing up. I even used to tell people my birthday was February 29th so it wouldn't come up every year lol!

But since being with Alex, I've started to develop my own traditions and I'm really loving them. We'll have the full turkey dinner, everything made from scratch with all the fixin's!!! This creates new memories for me, and the old ones fade away with each year that we enjoy the holidays.

There are handfuls of traditions out there, but since today is Thanksgiving, this is what I'm focusing on! Happy Thanksgiving to all of my Canadian friends and I hope you have everything to be thankful for this year! :)

Do you have a Thanksgiving tradition that you hold dear? :)

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Blue Skies Ahead

I try always to see the positive side of everything. I'm not perfect though. When something difficult or worrisome happens, I go into anxiety mode naturally and sometimes get caught up in the negative aspects of the issue. Alex is the same way and we make big efforts to change our way of thinking because we've both had tough lives and we want to make the best of what we have now.

We know that we will face difficulties in our future, everyone will. But turning those hard times into life lessons is the biggest challenge! We talked last night about our move. We plan to buy a home and property in 2019. We're by no means wealthy (financially!), so we were trying to figure out how we'd move our houseful of possessions and pets, likely to a new province - by ourselves without hiring movers - which we won't be able to afford. We also wondered how we'd manage going to visit properties if they are an eight hour drive away...with all the pets in tow! All of these will be challenges that we will have to face in order to achieve the future of our dreams.

It's going to be interesting! :)

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

The Pioneer Spirit

Alex and I watched a John Wayne movie last night called The Searchers...his Westerns usually revolve around Civil War era and pioneer times. My only real knowledge of pioneer times is "Hollywooded Up"...but even with the movie's likely exaggeration, I think those pioneers were darn brave and hard working! Imagine taking a few hours each morning to prepare and make a daily breakfast? Fending off enemies while keeping your land safe...trying desperately to make a living in a new land while keeping your family and animals safe, healthy and fed? Imagine winters? Trying to clothe yourself and keep the house warm without burning it down? 

I don't know, I don't think I'm THAT courageous!! I have so much respect for those people because they laid the groundwork for everything we have in our lives today. Even though I can't imagine living that life, I have that pioneer spirit in me that's for sure. 

I think that Alex and I are slowly but surely moving towards a more pioneer-type lifestyle. We are both learning how to fend for ourselves so to speak - with the help of technology (You Tube) to show us how!! The garden is one thing we are both very proud of. I always mention "my" garden, but Alex has helped me a great deal with it and we are both enjoying the benefits! We both prune, we both pick the veggies, we both admire the flowers, we are both worried about the tomatoes and's become a big part of our lives and we can't wait to be able to grow more! Alex has lots of ideas for greenhouses because our goal is to feed ourselves all year round. It's quite exciting! :)

One of my goals is to make my own wardrobe from now on. The knitting has started, and the sewing will come next (my poor sewing machine is gathering dust...). I'm learning from my fellow Bloggers about raising ducks and chickens and goats. I'm so intrigued by crafts like soap making. I am trying to make as much as I can from scratch so as not to rely on insane grocery store prices for mediocre products. Alex is learning lots about home repair, renovating, building and millinery skills (that's hat making).  We both would eventually like to learn more about car repair as well, but one thing at a time! But if truth be told, we'd love to ditch the car for a horse and buggy...not sure that's doable, but it's a nice thought. :)

I would say at this point, that we are still dependent on technology too much, but we are gradually decreasing our online-ness as well and opting for simpler joys like reading on the porch or the hammock. We do rely heavily on Hydro for heat and power...but we're renting so we have that as our excuse. In the mean time, we are learning more about self-sufficiency and living off the grid. We want to feel as much freedom as we can as each day goes by.

As the world is moving more and more towards technology and materialism, we are moving in the opposite direction and it really feels good.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The Wise Woods

Everything in Nature has a message to tell if you are open to it. Sometimes when walking in the woods, I seek out advice. I don't ask for anything, I always believe in helping myself first; but I do pay attention.

I look at the trees and remember how strong, weathered and tall they are, no matter what has befallen them. I am sometimes fortunate enough to see a deer, who reminds me to be graceful and not let anything get in the way of my feeling of freedom. The squirrels teach me to be prepared. The wind teaches me that problems will "blow over". The river teaches me that my emotions need to flow to reach the tranquility of the lake. The fog teaches me to be careful. The seasons teach me that change needs to happen and that life is a wonderful cycle of renewal and transition. The sun reminds me of my passions in life and the moon reminds me of my feminine side.

I love symbolism and for me a walk in the woods is very therapeutic. Sometimes I'll just feel so happy and grateful that I'll say out loud..."Okay forest, what do you want to teach me today?" :) And I usually learn something very valuable!

Monday, September 11, 2017

Celebrate A Welcoming

I think it's always good to have an open mind and an open heart. If you close yourself off too much and forget to "smell the roses" as they say; you give yourself less of a chance for new possibilities and opportunities.

For a long time, I lived for my career and everything in my life revolved around it. In retrospect, I can see things I missed out on because I felt that the job was the only important thing in my life. I learned that lesson the hard way!

But I also believe that everything happens for a reason. I had to learn that there was more to life than pleasing others. And honestly, I didn't gain much from it except lifetime mental health issues! I was seeking approval for such a long time and that's what really drove me. Instead of seeking approval from others, I should have tried to make myself happy and approve of my own choices!

I do that now and I've never been happier. It's allowed me to have an open mind and spirit. I make sure I take time every day to enjoy what nature has to offer all around me. This makes me feel so grateful for nature's gifts and increases my appreciation for the simpler things I have in my life. For me, what's important isn't always tangible.

Friday, September 8, 2017

Falling Leaves

I think that autumn is definitely here in the mountains...I'm seeing leaves turning red and orange, the temperatures are chilly, but there is that "fallness" in the air that I just love!

As the leaves start to fall, I often think of things I've let "fall" away from me. Things that I was so jazzed up about at one point that got lost in the shuffle of life.

One of my goals is to live without regret so I try my best not to let things go. I may set something aside "for now" but I always try to get back to it!

As each season changes, I love the opportunity to renew myself, my goals and to clean up anything that didn't work for me the last few months!

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Full Moon Nurturing

Tonight is September's Full Corn Moon - named appropriately because this is the time of the year for the corn harvest. We've been enjoying lots of corn on the cob lately, oh it's so sweet this time of year!!

I love watching the skies, especially the moon phases. We saw the moon last night nearly full and it had a yellow hue to it, like a cob of corn. :) In some spiritual belief systems, the moon represents different aspects of the Triple Goddess. For those who don't know, the Triple Goddess is likened to Christianity's God, except she is female and has three stages of her life: Maiden, Mother and Crone. I relate more to the Quadruple Goddess idea of Maiden, Mother, Queen and Crone...representing the four phases of a woman's life. People will disagree with me, but I don't like the idea of moving from motherhood straight to old age! I think that a woman's middle-age can be the best phase of her least I'm experiencing that! :)

In any case, whatever you believe, as long as you are happy and content, bravo! :) I have nothing against any faith that doesn't bring harm to others. I always feel I need to say this so that people don't get offended.

The Full Moon phase of the moon represents the Mother, the it's a good time to sit down and think about who or what in your life needs your attention and your nurturing. How can you take care of others who need you while remembering to take care of yourself too?

By the way, that photo is proudly MINE. :) Alex gave me an amazing camera for my birthday a few years back with an awesome optical zoom and I can really get some great shots of the moon! I need to nurture my photographical (is that a word?) side a little more than I do now! 

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Eyes of the Soul

Just some deep thoughts for today. :)

I am a very spiritual person. I am not part of any organized religion, I just love nature, the universe and the Earth. That's my heaven. I often wonder about the big questions in life...why am I here, what am I supposed to be doing, is there a big secret to life on earth? I get quite philosophical and existential (in my mind) while thinking about all of these mind-bending possibilities...these are all questions that I can't really answer of course, but I try my best to make some kind of sense of it all!  :) When I get frustrated enough, I just figure, it's all about living a good, happy and grateful life filled with love. 

Then I watch a Woody Allen movie, always loaded with philosophical nuances...and I'm at it again, pondering life, death and the afterlife! :)

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Stop Wasting Your Time!

This Tarot spread is near and dear to my heart. At one point in my life, I had accounts to pretty much every social media site that was out there. I just wanted to be "up" on technology. I found it so lonely though. I ended up endlessly browsing these sights, bored and feeling rejected by my friends who formerly emailed me, then switched that up for a "like" or a "poke". Conversation just dropped off and I hated it. I spent HOURS a day on these sites, then hours a day watching was a bleak existence lol!

So I canceled my cable, sold my television and deleted all of my accounts online. That was in 2010. I was digitally "clean". Suddenly though, I had a lot of time to fill. I wasn't dating yet at that point, so I dove into hobbies. What a MUCH better way to fill my time!

The only social media, besides email, that I have is Blogger. For me, this is not only social because I get to meet some really nice people; but it's a nice way to pay a tribute to my life and what's important to me. I have a smart phone, but I don't really use it for more than taking pictures, the occasional phone call, and texting my boyfriend when we're too lazy to call down to each other between floors...terrible isn't it lol? I much rather spend my time offline, doing homey stuff and spending time with the fur kids and Alex. I never have any regrets when I balance my life and do what feels rewarding and joyful.

I don't want to be on my death bed updating my Facebook status to "still holding on." 😲

Friday, September 1, 2017

Battlefield Ghosts: Shadows of the Past

Once in a while I pull out my "Ghosts and Spirits" Tarot deck. I don't feel in tune with that deck for some reason, but the artwork and tales of ghosts and spirits in history is pretty interesting! They give me ideas for spreads as I read though the symbolism and meanings of each card.

The Battlefield Ghosts represent the shadows of the past. There is something in everyone's past that occasionally casts a shadow on our present life. For a while there, the shadows of my past affected me daily...that was a trying time! But hard work and consistency does help to put that darkness where it the past.

Learning from our past mistakes, or events that affected us badly that we couldn't control; now that is the key to growth. I'm guilty of repeating past mistakes, for sure. Sometimes I learn the hard way and after falling down a few times, I think "oh yeah" as the light bulb goes off lol...

And just an interesting note: Thoughts are POWERFUL. How many times have you been sitting quietly, feeling okay, then a thought from the past just pops up? If it's a good thought - great! That feeling of happiness is something we all want in our lives. But if it's a bad thought, it has the power to stir up the emotions attached to it and basically send us into a spiral of negativity and perhaps sadness. Thoughts are so incredibly powerful...that's why I often preach about the power of positivity and squashing those negative thoughts as soon as they come up. Life is too short to allow past shadows to interfere with our present lives.