Thursday, August 31, 2017

Snowy Owl: Prophecy


This is the last of my 6 owl-related Tarot spreads.

The Snowy Owl is by far my favourite owl, it is just such a beauty! :) Snowy Owls represent prophecy, seeing things that others may not see. This could be premonition of things to come, or just feeling like you know what the outcome of something will be. You may not have physical proof, but you just know.

I get this sometimes. Your instincts are there for a reason and a lot of people simply ignore them as something false or impossible. But I do know that my instincts never steer me wrong. Being observant to your environment helps to hone in those instincts. Being out and about where you live, listening, watching, feeling the energy around you. Sometimes a sign or omen is there right in front of us, but we aren't capable of seeing it because modern life has basically dulled all of our senses.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Great Horned Owl: Adapting to Change


This is my fifth of six owl-related Tarot spreads.

I have to admit, I'm not big on change! In fact, until I met Alex I was still using Windows 98...and that was in 2013!!! I guess that's why I like Blogger, it's easy and I don't have to adapt to all the crazy new technology that I just can't (won't?) grasp.

When things are going well, I don't have any desire to change a thing. When things that are out of my control change, I find I'm resistant at first, but then quickly adapt because I want things to get back to that harmonious state that I enjoy so much. I've realized that every decision I make is to keep my home life happy and peaceful and to avoid any type of conflict.

People on the other hand - I resist to ANY change a person wants of me! When my neighbour decided she hated me (because I told her I couldn't drive her around anymore), she forced me to change a few things and I was resentful. I couldn't be friendly with her anymore and say hello, she would completely ignore me. She made me feel uncomfortable whenever I left my driveway and passed her house - I would always get the "death glare". 

She forced discomfort on me, that kind of change I hate! Because I can't handle confrontation, I changed my dog-walking route to avoid her hostility. It's been six months and she's still holding a grudge, but I am at the point where I see the good in the change - no more pressure to have to find an excuse not to drive her around town anymore! When I told her that I couldn't drive her around, I was honest. The fact is, I hate driving and I'm already nervous when I have Alex and the pets to be responsible for. She was asking me weekly for favours and the whole ordeal affected my emotions and caused me lots of stress. My honesty was a mistake! I found out she badmouthed me to a bunch of neighbours, telling them I made up a story to "get out" of helping a neighbour. Just a note though, this woman has pretty much alienated everyone in the village. I think I was the last person willing to help her out! Anyway, this was an opportunity for me to stand tall and just remember nobody's opinion matters but my own and Alex's. That's the positive outcome of this forced change.

And just a personal note: I will NEVER understand people and their insane reasoning. I always said to Alex that it's not worth getting to know neighbours beyond waving hello, because they will always take you for granted or cause problems. I've never been wrong about that! The good old days of "love they neighbour" don't exist in our society lol! 

Monday, August 28, 2017

Short-Eared Owl: Opportunity


This is my fourth of six owl-related Tarot spreads.

For those who aren't familiar with the elements, when we read Tarot cards, sometimes we correspond the four elements to the situation, for example:

Earth symbolizes the home, the physical and what you can see in front of you.

Air symbolizes the intellect, thought and ideas.

Fire symbolizes passion, the spirit and taking action.

Water symbolizes love, emotions and the heart.

Of course, the elements have so many more meanings, but these are the basics. So if my first question asks what opportunities have you missed? And I draw a card that has a water symbol, maybe the card is telling me I missed something that would have really felt loving and warm. It's up to me to think about this, and if I want to, make a change so that I try not to miss out on something that could have brought even more love into my life. Everything is open to self-interpretation of course, but this is basically how I read the cards for myself - they are learning tools for self-improvement.

I think that being more open to opportunities takes not only an open mind, but confidence as well. I always use the cheese making as an example but when I started and ran into so many hurdles...I could have closed my mind and said "not worth it." But I kept my mind open and Alex helped with my confidence building...and look at me now! I would have really missed the opportunity of creating, accomplishing and (soon!) tasting all of these wonderful cheeses that I MADE. :))

This is a very good subject to ponder. We never want any regrets in life, big or small. We can't control what life throws at us, but we can control how we react and how we take action with what we've been gifted with! Seize the day, as they say! :)

Friday, August 25, 2017

Screech Owl: Courageous Individual


This is my third of six Owl-themed spreads.

Complacency is a spirit-killer. Doing nothing is so de-motivating but it becomes a habit that's hard to break. I know this from personal experience. Some people call it a "comfortable rut" and it's hard to crawl out of.

I have an area in my life where I know I could really use some more courage. I have done lots of therapy (formal) and self-therapy to get to a place where I can face this lack of bravery. In the past I've given up too easily and I've always regretted it. Sometimes finding courage is a scary thing, but I think it's always worth the effort.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Barn Owl: House Spirits


This is my second of six Owl spreads.

I'm a believer in energy. Without getting too much into my own philosophy, I find it hard to believe that when our bodies die, our spirits/energy die instantly with them. Everyone has their own beliefs and they are too personal to debate, which always baffles me when people have religious arguments. I believe X, you believe Y, they believe Z...so be it. Whatever makes you comfortable!

I think that homes carry energy. Sometimes they are good, sometimes not so good. I've been to houses where I instantly feel uncomfortable or threatened. It's an odd feeling. I don't think a ghost will pop up and hurt me, but I always wonder what kind of energy was left there and why it still feels like it's trapped there.

Anyway, lots of ramblings for today lol. When we first moved to this cottage, we felt a weird negative energy in one of the rooms. We cleaned it thoroughly and I burned some herbs to help restore the positive balance. We always wondered what happened in that room.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Spotted Owl: Use Your Voice


This is my first Tarot spread of six dedicated to the owl and what it represents.

The Spotted Owl teaches us to speak up and use our voice. This may not necessarily be literal. I often voice my opinion by my actions or non-actions. 

But I've been in situations sometimes where I felt trapped, where I felt like no matter what I said, I wouldn't be heard. A lot of this, in my case, was just a fear of conflict. My emotions can't handle any type of conflict very well and it affects me for days and sometimes weeks. It's quite debilitating. So I got into the habit of keeping quiet and just putting up with things. But now, I stand up for myself and raise my voice. By raising my voice, I mean, I show, and sometimes speak my mind. If I don't like something that is happening, and I know words won't do a thing, I act. It might not impact the person/company/group that is the offender...but it makes me feel stronger and more confident.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Finding My Home


Alex and I have both been renters, for him, all of his adult life; for me for most of my adult life. I bought a condo in the mountains back in 2001, sadly that didn't end well because I lost my job after suffering a burnout.

But in hindsight, living in a condo wasn't really my style. I had been renting it for a few years previously and the owner asked if I wanted to buy it. I had a great job back then and I didn't hesitate because I absolutely loved the area. I did have issues with loud weekenders though (as per usual!) I think that eventually I would have sold anyway. It wasn't really my "home".

Right now, the only thing missing from my ideal home is the dwelling. I have Alex, I have my pets, my hobbies and everything I love. Now it's just about saving for a home and property to make things complete.

When we moved to this cottage over two years ago, we had no idea there were so many degenerates in this area...it's become ridiculous and we did toy with the idea of just leaving. But we both think we'd regret it because our home ownership dreams are so close now that we don't want to delay things by incurring expensive moving costs. Plus, in reality, we just can't afford it right now unless we rely on credit...so that's out of the question!

Are you at home? Do you feel that something is missing? We are in a situation that we can't change, but we're trying really hard to make the best of it. Are you in the same situation and how do you manage?

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Lose Yourself


After my thirteen hour cheese making day on Tuesday...I thought about how much I'm really having fun making cheese. The time flew by, even though I was really tired after all that work!

I've mentioned before that I had a heck of a time trying to "find myself" after I burned out. I couldn't figure out what to do with myself because I wasn't working - contributing to society as they say. 

I think one of the key elements to finding your passions and your favourite hobbies is how time just flies by and how great you feel. I can easily get lost in a good book, in walking the dogs in the woods, cooking and baking, and now in cheese making! I feel like I lost a lot of time over the years, and I am trying to enjoy every moment now because life really is short. I find as I get older, the time is flying by way too quickly so I want to make the best of all moments.

Have you ever thought about this? What makes you feel good and what makes you forget about watching the clock? What could you try, something new, that'll give you these great feelings?

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Turning Things Around


Firstly I must apologize to my readers...my blog title is "Rain's DAILY Tarot"...not Rain's OCCASIONAL Tarot...lol...I'm a person who needs structure and posting daily, at least on this blog, grounds me and helps me to appreciate, think, find positivity and gratitude, so I will work harder at posting daily.

These are all Tarot Spreads, but because I'm not really into foretelling...I try to think up spreads and questions that don't need to be done with cards. Sometimes just a question will get you thinking about your own life and your own situation.

When I was younger, in my late teens and early twenties, I never gave up anything. I just pushed full steam ahead and enjoyed every facet of life - whether it was responsible living or not!! Lots of kids go through that, but at that age, you never see life as fleeting. You're too young to realize that life will end one of these days!

Later in life though, and after realizing what I truly want; and more importantly what I truly DON'T want in my life; I decided I am willing to give up certain things to achieve my dreams. It took me a while to get to that place of sacrifice because my life had been filled with trauma and pain. Because of that, I "needed" everything I wanted to help me feel better, happy, cared for, loved...you name it. I couldn't give up anything because I felt like it wasn't fair if I had to. I felt that so much had already been taken from me and I was clinging to everything I could get - even to bad habits.

But it IS fair to sacrifice certain things to get what I'm reaching for. It's fair to ME. The more I resisted not giving things up that didn't serve me well, the more unfair I was being because I was denying myself what I truly wanted. Now it finally makes sense, and sacrificing something here or there is peanuts compared to the big picture! Does that make sense???

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Determined or Defeated?


After a challenging week, I had to really ground myself. I really suck at failure...how does that sound lol? I'm sure many people feel the same way! I am pretty good about it at first...I'm the "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again" type. But three very time-consuming attempts to make Mozzarella that failed, nearly got the better of me. 

Sometimes I feel, generally speaking, as though I try and try and I can never get ahead. But then I take a look at what I have around me, how I have designed my lifestyle and I realize that I have much more determination that I think I do. Life hasn't been easy, but so be it, you just deal with it the best you can. Doesn't mean you can't have your own pity party now and then - I CERTAINLY did for a few days!! I was cursing the whole cheese making process!! 😱  I even got to the point where I said "no more". After a few days, sense came back to me, the feelings of failure faded a little, and my resolve increased. 

I used to just give up when I got to that point, but it never served me well. Of course, there are things that you must decide to give up when they are simply impossible; but the key, for me, is to focus on my creativity and my strengths. Every failure is a learning lesson, and once my feelings aren't so fragile, I realize that and either move on or keep trying!

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Daydreams


I often find myself daydreaming. Usually it's about one or two of the same things. One of those things is something I want so badly that I am doing everything in my power to achieve it: home ownership. I had it once, then had to give it all up due to burnout, losing my job, years of recovery...it was horrible. But for the last six years, I've been feeling much better and am ready to work towards that dream again. I really believe in myself; and I also believe that if you really want to make a dream come true, you can do so if you work very hard towards it. Some dreams I know aren't realistic though, but I can still have fun thinking about them!

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Creative Expression


I've been thinking a lot about what makes me the most happy, what gives me that feeling of satisfaction. I look around the village, spy on the weekenders (lol), read lots of blogs and realize that I'm so different from most people.

I don't need much to make me happy, but I do need to feel creative. By that, I mean that I need to use my talents and strengths to create things that give me fulfillment and joy. My life with Alex is uncomplicated and simple. We don't need fancy stuff, we don't need to have social circles, we don't even have to leave our backyard. But we each need to spend our time doing what gives us a feeling of passion. 

I create by baking and cooking, trying new recipes and kitchen concoctions. My cheese making has opened up a new creative side to me! I've started hand crafts, such as knitting and I'll be revisiting sewing clothes to that list too. My garden this year really brought out my creative green thumb! I need a jump start on my painting, but that will come with time. I'm always looking for more ways to express my creative side and it's fun trying new things.

If what I do doesn't fulfill me emotionally, then it will never fulfill me at all. This is something I learned throughout the years as I tried to find myself. I used to chase after friends, family, society, being a "social butterfly"...but that was never as fulfilling to me as baking a loaf of bread or painting a watercolour. I think people chase after the wrong things, not really knowing what makes them feel whole and happy. It took me years to figure it out though.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

The Root of Dis-Ease


Disease is just that, a dis-ease of your body and mind. I know what the root of my illnesses are but sometimes they are kind of hidden and need a little help to come out.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Pet Messages


This is a photo of my late pug Winston. His brother Spencer is sitting next to him. When I think about it too much, I shed a few tears, they were wonderful dogs! But now I have three new ones that are near and dear to my heart.


Jack, my little hound dog is really sick. All we can figure is that he ate something very toxic and his body is trying really hard to get rid of it. We'll comfort him, fast him for 24 hours, then give him rice for a while and hope for the best. If he's not better by Tuesday, it's off to the vet. His spirit is very good and he really wants to eat, so that's always good news.

I'm sure some people think it's batty, but I really believe that dogs try to communicate to us. They can't speak our language (yet? lol), but they know how to get our attention. If he needs to go, he sits by the front door. If it's urgent, he will scratch the door and bark once. He's very smart. I asked him what he ate...but, sigh, he can't tell me! Wishful thinking!! :)

I keep hoping that there is something that will show me what Jack needs right now and how I can better help him. I'm going to shuffle through the cards and see if I get any insight.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Abandoning a Project


Have you ever wanted to start a project, got so gung ho about it, then just as quickly forgotten about it? Why does that happen? When I start a watercolour, I always sketch it out first, then start painting. Well, I sketched out a portrait of our husky Marlene...that was a month ago...and it's still sitting there on my easel. I keep asking myself why I lost interest in painting lately. I have to ask the cards for some advice because it's something that I really love doing!

Friday, August 4, 2017

Change Your Reaction


The events of Wednesday morning really shook me up, made me feel very unsafe. I really did feel like a victim and that it was so completely uncalled for. Frankly I was running out of safe places to walk the dogs in this village.

But the idea of not being able to walk them got me into such a state of despair that the only way I could feel better was to try everything possible to find a solution. After searching and google-mapping the area within a 20 km range, it hit me yesterday afternoon - I had one last place I could go. Two summers ago, Alex and I came upon a little trail that is slightly difficult to get to. There is about a minute walk of thick brush that closes up the trail from the nearest road. It's like that simply from not being used, but once you get through that, the trail is obvious. It's not a long trail, I was able to walk the three dogs together for 20 minutes this morning; and take Charlie back for her hour-long walk before lunch (we walked it three times).

I have to drive just over five minutes to get there, but it's so worth it to feel safe and away from the village idiots. I just have to remember that this could be taken away from me as well if there are some dumb-ass yahoos who feel the need to be intimidating. Alex gave me his Swiss Army knife to take with me; I had my air horn to make noise and my cell was fully charged, so I did feel safe. 

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Thursday: Thor's Day


I am looking for inner strength today! Walking the dogs yesterday proved to be an unnerving experience. First I encountered a local woman who never puts her German Shepherd on leash. I asked her to do so because I was going to walk my dogs in that area. She was so rude, said I "wasn't the police" and gave me the finger. I'm perplexed at people these days.

Another scary thing that happened was when I was on the deserted road on the other side of the covered bridge. There was a guy on a quad, reeking of beer and cigarettes...going back and forth on the road next to me, staring me down the whole time. I have to admit, I was scared and creeped out. As soon as he got out of sight, I ducked into the woods with the dogs, but then felt very uncomfortable the entire walk. I walk in the woods ALONG QUAD TRAILS...he could have easily followed me. I kept hearing his quad and I got scared and called Alex to come and meet me. I feel as though I can't leave my home and this all happened between 6:30am and 7:30am...I'm not even safe at this hour! We are both so upset about this latest situation. We also found out from the hair dresser that this town is known as a drug-crop town...how did we not know this? It really would explain a lot about the shady people here. Drug growers will go to no ends to protect their crops. I don't want to be on that end ever.

This morning there were NO dog walks. I'm very upset and slightly depressed. I've done everything I can to try to walk my dogs in safety. We've complained to the canine inspector and the village about loose dogs - there is NO enforcement. We called the police yesterday about the creepy quad guy but they couldn't do much because he was gone and I was too scared to take his photo...plus it takes them over half an hour to arrive. Alex was furious about the fact that nothing ever will be done by the people who are supposed to take action, he asked me not to leave the house without him. We both feel like our hands are tied here. 

So...I'm looking for strength. The mountains and woods are beautiful, but not safe for me - even with the dogs. It's a horrible situation because I just love to be in the woods. Alex and I talked so much about this, we are this close to breaking our lease and leaving.

But our dream is to buy land and a home and if we move again, our dream will be that much further away financially. We signed a lease here that ends June 2019, less than 2 years now. We will stay put and I will exercise at home. We will make sure the dogs get lots of running around and play time in the yard each day. We don't mind being reclusive at all...but walking the dogs was such a pleasure that we feel has been forcefully taken from us. But people's attitudes here are so apathetic...even the town hall and the police. We've never experienced this before. It will motivate us that much more to save money and pay back debt though.

We can only change ourselves at this point. We can't change others. I feel as though these people here have defeated me. I want to be self-righteous and just walk the dogs anyway each day...but what happened yesterday really scared me. I have to be realistic - safety first. I never thought it would be this bad!

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

This or That


Sometimes making a decision has no gray area!

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Lammas Gratitude


Merry Lammas to those who celebrate! :)

Lammas is the day we celebrate the first of the harvest - though this year, there are slim pickins! I like to live by the seasons and I do celebrate each one. It's no secret that I am a Pagan at heart, I just love Nature and everything she gives us each day - with no expectations of anything in return. I don't follow rules, but I do appreciate the traditions of my Celtic ancestry.

Today I'm very grateful for everything I have, despite the challenges I face daily. I have a little mantra that I say out loud every day to remind me to stay positive:

"My mind, my heart, my soul are free; no negativity will bother me.
I can't change others, but I can change me."

I made it rhyme so that it would be easy to remember and it works. I used to live a very clouded life and I regret it because it was a life wasted. Now it's my mission to enjoy each moment as I can and feel gratitude every day.