Friday, November 17, 2017

New Moon

If you read the Tarot or do any kind of spiritual rituals associated with the Moon, then this is the time to work on new beginnings, changes and starting new projects. We are at the beginning of November's New Moon and the skies are dark! This is a wonderful time for star gazing if you are lucky enough, to be able to see the stars. When Alex and I first met, I moved back to the city to live with him, because he worked and I didn't and well, we just couldn't live without each other thing I missed terribly was seeing the stars. With Montreal's city lights, the stars just weren't visible. I feel really grateful to live out in the mountains with no city lights blocking my view of the sky.

I am a skywatcher, that's for sure. I'm a nature-lover too, so I pay attention to everything that goes on around me, skies, woods, mountains and critters. I thought about things today, I need to make some new attitude adjustments and I need to refresh my spirit a little bit. The last few months have been tough and have caused great doubt and anxiety within me. Suddenly I'm worried about the future, about when my income will dry up, if we can really afford to live our simple lifestyle while saving for a home and paying down debt...then those what if' know them! :)

What if I get sick? What if the dogs need vet care? What if the car dies? What if what if what if...I had to put a stop to it, it was making me the perfect candidate for the loony bin.

For those unaware, I am very spiritual and I don't talk about it much, but if I were categorized, I'd say I was a Pagan. I believe that practical magic can happen all around us if we have good intentions and take action. I am also a realist. I don't believe in "fantasy" type the sense that I don't believe that I can conjure up a hurricane to seek revenge on society or anything silly like that...but I do believe that if I set my intentions to something, and do everything I can to make these ideas and wishes come true, then I can accomplish anything.

Having said that, I decided to do a little snow ritual - since we have snow!!! I'm taking the advice of the New Moon and making a new change. I'm not going to allow my doubts and fears to take over my thoughts - it's so destructive. I've accepted that my life will be topsy turvy until we figure out what will happen with the two new dogs and I'm done being mad at their owner. I just want to focus on taking care of them and enjoying my life again. So, I went outside a little while ago in the dark of the New Moon. I thought about all the negative stuff I've been feeling lately as I formed a nice big snowball. After a deep breath, I threw the snowball as far as I could and made the decision to release the old and start new. Sometimes when we attach a physical action to a thought, it really becomes a lot more powerful!

My intentions are good and I really just want to feel happy and positive and move on with my life with all the plans I've made despite the obstacles! 


Martha said...

You have a good soul, Rain. The more I get to know you the more I like you. I enjoy these posts very much and I'm always startled at how similar we are. I am also a very spiritual person. I was raised in a very religious Christian home and very religious Christian community but it never stuck. I formed my own belief system, or rather, spiritual philosophy starting in my early teens.

I don't think anyone goes through life without being plagued at some point by the "what ifs". Sometimes we tend to worry or fuss more than necessary, certainly more than we intended to. I think it's the realization, at times, that there are things we have no control over and that raises our anxiety levels.

That snow ritual is a wonderful exercise in helping letting go of some of that worry/negativity. I hope you are feeling much, much more positive!

Pam said...

Morning Rain.....haha, no I did not mean that I have morning rain,that will be here this afternoon! haha...sorry, I have been down with some type of head crap for two days and this morning I don't have that head pressure so I feel silly! Anyway...I love your outlook on life. I taught myself years ago that I can overcome stress and crap in my life if I smile, laugh and let go. Retiring almost 1.5 yrs ago I was really able to let stress go, and to let go of things I can't control. My daughter seemed to be the only stressor in my life after work and now it appears that maybe she is getting her life on track. My son...he found himself yrs ago and grew up so no worries there. Like you, money, animals, car...that seems to be my only worries now. I had some money built up when I stopped working and now it is down a bit. Thinking after the first of the yr getting a part time job. My biggest issue was giving up the amount of money I made while working....retirement money not that great. But you...I will make it through this. My health is my only big issue now....and I do my best to not let it take me down. When I have bad days, I crash and take care of me. Take care Rain, you will do just fine.

Fundy Blue said...

We have snow, too, Rain. I was shocked when I opened up the curtains this morning and saw it blanketing everything! I think your snow ritual is a great idea.

Your questions at the beginning of your post are thought provoking. Right now I'm focusing on sleep, especially as I have cataract surgery on Monday morning and am vanquishing a cold I caught while up in Calgary two weekends ago. I'm trying to become consistent on when I'm getting up in the morning, but I refuse to set an alarm.

It's difficult to shut out worries, especially when facing lots of challenges and unknowns. I try to do physical things like clean a room or bake something so I'm showing myself positive, loving accomplishments. Sometimes I take a long walk with my shuffle and play active songs to drown the worries ~ "Give Me Shelter" by the Stones does wonders for me. And sometimes I watch a funny movie. "Six Days, Seven Nights" with Harrison Ford always gets me laughing and lifts my spirits ~ especially when Ford stomps into a big bush and takes out his worries and frustrations. I bet you'll get on top of things! Take care!

Rain said...

Thank you Martha :) After reading your Happily Every After, I was startled as well at how much we are alike: our pasts were alike when it came to that kind of toxic relationship...the spiritual awakening, the finding of our soul mates, and the joy we both have now. Life is wonderful isn't it? I think that Christianty does have good ideas at heart, but in my case, it was shoved violently down my throat and of course I shunned it. But my way of thinking now is so natural and I feel fulfilled, I can't imagine any other way of thinking about life!

The ritual helped me a LOT. In October, right after we got the email with the wishy washy plans of Stella and Pavlov's owner, I did something similar. I threw an apple out into the woods, I said out loud I wanted to rid my life of all the "rotten apples" out there! :) As the apple rots, things are touted to be more peaceful. Because I thought about this and believed it would happen for me, it did. Slowly though, I tend to hold on to negativity from others way too long for my liking. But I do feel quite peaceful today watching the snow storm from my window! :)

Rain said...

Hi Pam :) I am in total agreement about the smiling and's the letting go part that I seem to have such a hard time with. And I really don't think I linger with the thoughts...I think it just takes my emotions a little longer to heal. But I always know there is a bright side and it always comes eventually! I do have a what seems to be constant worry about money...I was doing quite well before I burned out and I had to adjust to living on disability. Now that it's getting closer to "retirement" age (I have about 15 years to go), I worry how I'll adjust to losing the disability and living off my little bit of savings and retirement income. Alex works from home, he's trying to build a business, so it's not like we'll be living like paupers, but it's always in the back of my mind and I wish it wasn't!!! I have a degree in business and accounting so maybe I'm just hardwired that way! In the end, in my experience, everything always works out, so I really need to find a way to give up all that worry.

I'm sorry you weren't feeling too well, I hope you're better now, sounds like you are, building a new staircase, brave lady! :) Retirement suits you! :)

Rain said...

Hi Fundy Blue :) The snow is beautiful at this time of year, but it took me by surprise too! Every year it does lol...always seems too early! Oh gosh, am I too late to wish you a safe and easy surgery? I hope you blast that cold away. That's one thing about living the life of a mostly-hermit, I don't get sick as much as I used to thankfully, I'm a total baby when I have the sniffles! I stopped setting an alarm a long time ago, my inner clock gets me up every morning between 6-7am, no matter what time I get to sleep!

It's interesting that you mention you bake when you worry. Yesterday was a baking extravaganza for me lol...I just kept going to try to not think about the finances and the dogs!!! :) It does work! And we get to eat the rewards lol...a good movie always helps me too. I never feel motivated to watch a movie when I'm worried, but Alex coaxes me into it and it always makes me feel better. Good luck tomorrow!!!

Michael said...

Dear Rain,

I LOVE how real you are. You are definitely a realist. I think many of us can relate to this bit, at least: "The last few months have been tough and have caused great doubt and anxiety within me. Suddenly I'm worried about the future, about when my income will dry up, if we can really afford to live our simple lifestyle while saving for a home and paying down debt...then those what if' know them! "
-that is me to a T, actually. After my (unwanted) divorce (8 years ago) after 21 years of marriage, I was utterly emotionally and financially devastated, bankrupt, you name it. Paying out over 83% of my take home pay for the first two years whilst also going above and beyond continually to support my children and their mom, I wasn't able to give anything to retirement, depleted all I have and now have so little that is can be scary. Whilst my kids adore me and say they'd look after me, the reality is that neither Alex nor I would dream of being a burden to them with their own expenses, etc. The one thing we both have though, is our faith in God. Knowing too how much each of us have overcome through so many things, gives us extra courage that we will make it through somehow. :)

So, yes, reading your other comments to peeps, I am sorry you had religion stuffed down your throat -- I feel that way myself with my liberal friends being so forceful -- but all that to say, that no one can convert anyone to anything truly. I honestly believe we are all different, with different upbringings, experiences etc that it is NO WONDER we all see things differently, and are, naturally, all different in ourselves! If only we could all TRULY let others be different too. We aren't God (if you will) and guaranteed, none of us see everything correctly and know all. We can't even if we tried due to the prisms we find ourselves in. What then can we do? That may be different for each person but for me, at least, the best I can do is show love to others as best I can and remember I have not walked in their shoes ever. The more I understand someone's story, the more love and compassion I gain for them..even for people who I might have otherwise considered fairly despicable and/or Alex's mom and family!

Anyway, I LOVE what you've written here. It's incredibly raw and honest and heartfelt. I love that part about throwing the snowball. Putting things like that into action can be so beneficial.

I admire how much your lives are in tune with nature and recognize a distinct lack, dysfunction even there in myself as I am truly SUCH a city person. Probably because aside from growing up in what some might say is THE world's best, more central city, I am also such a people person. I need to be around others. The worst times in my life have been when I've been alone, so being rural would definitely provide oodles of "growth" opps for me, shall we say? :)

Happy New Moon! Wishing you all the best as you discard the old and bring in the new. Keep your wonder alive!

Michael said...

By the way, one other thing to add: I love what my youngest son often says, "Sure, it's POSSIBLE - Anything is possible but is it likely?" Ha. That kind of works for me to...but in reverse.... while I may be inclined to see the negatives or reasons something doesn't add up, I also am aware of my finite nature and realise that this universe is vast, quantum physics alone proves there are over 300 dimensions so with that, anything is truly possible. There is real magic and wonder in there. As written on my blog sidebar, I long to keep in touch with that child-like sense of wonder. That's where the magic and creative muse grows into something beautiful. :)

Rain said...

Hi Michael :) I'm a realist that's for sure...but I do have a great dreamer inside too. :) I think that you and your Alex have the right idea, and I believe it too, my Alex and me have both overcome a lot in our lives and I truly believe everything works out in the end because we are both good people, we don't harm others and we work towards what we want, even though we live a more simple life than most people do. My worries are ingrained in me so it seems...I guess I'm a worrier too! So many hats I wear lol! I have a bad habit of worrying about what I cannot control, and sometimes it takes over, that's when I realize enough is enough...I'm wasting all this time worrying when I can be enjoying it in happiness! Life is way too short for "what if's" but tell my emotions that and they will laugh at you ha ha, :) I have to put MYSELF into my place sometimes! :)

You're right, nobody can convert anyone's thinking, religious or otherwise. It's truly freeing when you realize that you can't change others, only yourself IF you want to. One example is that when I met Alex, I had dreams of a small hobby farm with goats and chickens...maybe some horses and lots of dogs. He wants a life in the woods and solitude, but he is still on the fence about farm animals. At first I tried to convince him this way and that and felt disappointed. But I was the one who was disappointing him by trying to convert him into a lifestyle he wasn't comfortable with. I felt terrible so I talked to him and I told him no matter what, if I wanted chickens and ducks, I'll have them, but he is in no way obligated to care for them. This brought us closer and more respectful of each other's desires. I can't and DON'T WANT to change him! I love our few differences as well as our many similarities. Actually my Alex thought he was a city person too until he moved back to the mountains with me in 2014. He's now a confirmed mountain man! :)

Oh gosh...I tried to read about quantum physics at one point in my life, but it was too much for me to process! I believe that anything is possible AND likely lol...we can't possibly put reasoning to everything in our lifetime!

Guillaume said...

I didn't even know there was a new moon on the 17th.

Rain said...

Hi Guillaume :) I watch the Moon calendar but I'm also a sky observer so I'm really in tune with the moon cycles. :)

Michael said...

" have a bad habit of worrying about what I cannot control, "

Hey, maybe I will be mountain man one day, loving near the mountains and all and we did jsut do our lumberjack thang in the mountains recently as noted on my IG! ")

Rain said...

Ha! Would you make a good mountain man Michael? I think everyone has it in them! :) I lived in the city for my childhood and up until I was in my late twenties. When I first moved to the mountains, I was a bit scared, it was SO QUIET. It took some getting used to! All the little noises got me all nervous. And I found I got bored too. I was often back in the city visiting friends. When I started to finally relax and enjoy the surroundings, I was a firmly committed mountain mamma for good! :)