Saturday, March 2, 2019

A Month Of Self-Love

The shed is nearly buried.

Hello Friends :)

It's been a rough winter so far. We have had record snowfalls and really cold temperatures. I have severe cabin fever and S.A.D. I'm trying to push through. I've spent a lot of time in thought by my window...not just daydreaming of spring! :) I'm mostly in self-improvement mode lately.

For the next month, I'm going to challenge myself - and anyone who wants to come along this journey - to practice daily self-love. Whatever problems or challenges you are going through either on a daily basis...or those that will affect your way of life, your future and your happiness...it's  so important to always take care of yourself. 

I personally find that when I'm in crisis, I put myself LAST. I'm so focused on the stress, the negativity, the hurt, the pain...that I forget to do things to make myself FEEL better. In fact, in general, I put myself last all of the time - to my detriment. Years of therapy taught me that this all developed in childhood where I was brainwashed into thinking that I needed to please others to gain their love. 

Charlie in her booties.

Unfortunately these childhood beliefs often follow us into adulthood - usually unknown to us - and it leads us to make very bad choices. This was my own experience and I'm trying really hard to switch up that automatic/ingrained thinking.

The first step to any kind of healing of the self is to LOVE the self - to respect the self and to make decisions based on one's own BEST interest. I have seen so many people, including myself, making bad choices based on FEAR. 

I'm not shy to admit that my biggest fear is to be abandoned and to be rejected. That feeling is something I never want to experience ever again in my life - so sometimes all of my decisions are based on RUNNING AWAY from that fear.

I've come to realize this isn't healthy. All it does is keep me in a cycle of people pleasing, in fear that if I make one "wrong" step, my world will tumble down and I'll feel that excruciating emotional torture of rejection and abandonment.

We know though, to conquer our greatest fears, we must face them. And in order to face our fears, we have to be strong people, confident and healthy people with boundaries that protect our well-being. We need to focus on the positive and rid ourselves of the negative. 

I've always been a very positive gal but lately I'm seeing my negative side coming out and I know it's because I'm allowing some toxic circumstances to invade my peace of mind. I have been suffering with this for a little while now, I've become withdrawn...not my usual self - and I'm ready to put a stop to it!

Gathering dust...

You know I haven't picked up my paintbrushes in nearly a month??? 😢

I often come up with ideas to take better care of myself...then life gets in the way and I forget about ME. 

Anyway, I've come up with a list of 30 things to do for the next 30 days that will boost my self-love and help me to take good care of myself without putting anyone but ME first. Feel free to join along. I'll be posting once a day starting tomorrow. 

I promised myself I wouldn't allow anything to stop me from doing a post a day about this for the next month.

Life is too short for BS and drama, negativity and self-doubt...don't you agree? :) 

10 comments:

Mama Pea said...

I agree. Agree, agree, agree! I'll be following you intensively for the next 30 days. (And longer, of course!)

Rain said...

Thanks Mama Pea! :) I can't wait to read your thoughts as we go along this journey!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pam said...

AWESOME...you go girl. I for one am still struggling with the death of my mom and I do know it will take time but I will get there cause I have always came through. Good for you....glad you are doing this challenge.

Rain said...

Thanks Pam :)
I've been thinking of you lately. I'm going through some winter depression, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. I hope you're doing okay. I know how tough this was on you. But yes, we always do pull through don't we? Hope you and the furries are all happy! xxx

Lisa said...

I'll definitely be following this 30 day journey thread. Much needed this time of year with so many of us suffering from the cabin fever - SAD - waiting on Spring thoughts and feelings! Lisa

Rain said...

Hi Lisa :) Thanks for commenting! Yes...spring needs to hurry along doesn't it? I'm trying to appreciate winter as much as I can but I'm getting fed up!! :)

Magic Love Crow said...

My friend, we all make choices, but don't ever feel they are bad. I can tell you somethings, that would make you faint, from what I have done, but, if I didn't do those things, I wouldn't be where I am today. We all heal differently. Heal what is inside of you and always, everyday, place your hand on your heart and say, I Love You!! Big Hugs!

Martha said...

I love this journey you're on, Rain. What a wonderful idea! I've fallen behind a bit on blog posts but I'll catch up to the rest of your posts in time!

Rain said...

Thanks Stacy :) I probably could rival you with things that would make others faint lol...I did a lot of questionable things in my youth!! :) Yes, healing what's inside is the first step to self love I totally agree!

Rain said...

Thanks Martha :) You're not the only one, I barely find time to post here every day, I don't find time to visit other blogs too much these days. I miss it! But this challenge is really important to me, so I promised myself I'd keep it up!!