Sunday, March 3, 2019

Day 1 of 30 Days of Self-Love: Why Do You Love YOU?

I thought I'd do the most difficult challenge on the first day...oof this is tough for me. I thought if I said it all on video and published it, that it would have more of an impact for me and it really has!

Here is the list I came up with. 

- I love that I'm a nice person.

- My heart is full of love; I don't have it in me to be a mean, cruel or manipulative person, I really love my honesty and integrity.

- I love my maturity.

- All six of my pets hang out with me all day so I know I'm a good fur-mom and I love knowing they trust and love me back.  ♥♥♥♥♥♥

- I love that I don't look my age, I love that I exercise every day.

- I love that I can feel at one with Nature and the Universe.

- I love that I overcame a tough life.

- I love that I was pre-approved for a mortgage and that I'm responsible financially.

- I love that I'm creative.

- I love that I enjoy holidays and celebrations.

- I love that I'm somehow giving back to the world through my blogs.

- I love the life I've sculpted for myself.

- I love that I am doing this challenge and that I'm able to self-reflect and find ways to improve my entire life.

- I love that I have the courage to say all of this on video and share my life without fear anymore.

This is just a snippet of what I have come up with. I plan to spend more time today writing in my journal and thinking of more things that I love about myself. I love that I have red hair and green eyes just came to mind!!

Charlie spotted a rabbit this morning!

I love that I have the motivation and stamina and health to walk Charlie each morning despite the weather!!

When you tell yourself what you love about yourself, you strengthen your self-esteem and confidence. If you have a healthy self-esteem and a good level of self-confidence, it doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks about you; because you KNOW who you are and you don't need anyone else's approval to feel like a good person.

=====> Okay...I just learned something about myself! In the video I said that I love when people tell me I'm a nice person because it validates me. HA! I have work to do. I shouldn't need validation from anyone but ME right? :) Also, I KNOW I'm financially responsible and it doesn't take getting pre-approved for a mortgage to prove that to myself.

It's interesting when I look back on this! See how deeply programmed I am? GAH!

It's nice to feel love and validation from others, but in the end, we really don't NEED it. We WANT it. Of course, it's a super nice feeling having someone say "I love you" and show it to you. But the most important love is the love you have for yourself.

In the past (and clearly there are remnants still in the present), I was programmed to think that the only way I could get anyone to love and care about me was if I pleased them, did what they wanted, never stood up for myself, never voiced my opinion and the worst: to never say NO to them. I equated my self-worth based on what others thought of me.

Long cold snowy road

People pleasing robs you of self-empowerment. It keeps you walking on eggshells and always wondering if what you are about to say will be right or wrong. It keeps you in a state of renumeration...always going over what you said, did you say it right, did they take it the wrong way, did you use the right words, did you use the right tone etc...because your entire emotional world depends on not getting that person/those people upset at you. If they are upset at you, they will think you are a horrible person, a weak person, a desperate person but worse...they won't love you - and since your self-worth is based entirely on what others think - this idea can be debilitating. The idea of having someone think badly of you and reject you can be very crippling so you go to extreme lengths to make sure this never happens.

Having this programming keeps you in fear and crushes your courage so that you don't have it in you to follow your own ideas, dreams or path in life. This leads to self-doubt, anxiety and the inability to listen to your gut feeling. You end up suppressing a lot of emotion and we all know that swallowing down our negative emotions leads to disease of the body and mind. You also become more susceptible to being used and taken for granted. I know from experience that all of this is true.

I'm working hard at changing this automatic programming I have, it's a challenge, but I am up for it.

So tell me, why do you love who you are?


Pam said...

AW...I love that you are who you are. I love that you have also shared something with me and although I did not know way back when I love that you worked on yourself and you love yourself. Like you, it took a long time for me to get there also. Congrats! Proud of you. And TOTALLY congrats on the pre approval.

wisps of words said...

First, I LOVE how you are doing all these hard things! Going deep inside, and seeing what's in there, and dealing with all of that past stuff, and coming up and letting yourself realize, how damn great you are!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because any of us, who are courageous enough, to do such Hard Inner Work, are grrrrreat!!!!

More power to you, and to all, who are also brave enough, to do this work.

And it's ok to see where we have more work to do. But let's always be so happy, at where we have already arrived, on our journey.

A favorite saying of mine is: "I don't ever want to get perfect, because then, I'd be done, and I don't want to be done yet, I want a long time more, of life." :-))))

Hugs, hugs, hugs...

Mama Pea said...

Wisps of words, above, stole my first paragraph! I admire you so, Rain, for your courage and intelligence that enables you to do this hard work.

I am following you and taking your guidance to heart. You definitely are helping those of us who are still trying (no matter what our chronological age) to better ourselves. Thank you, and please keep posting. Hugs. :o}

Rain said...

Thanks Pam!!! :) I'm flying high on the pre-approval! :) Now the search begins and I have a deadline of April 30th or else the lease needs to be renewed for another year, eegad, let's hope I find the dream home!! :) Yes, it does take a long time to get to a place of self-love. I can't say I'm 100% there yet, I do have a lot of work to do, but it's amazing when you start the process, how many revelations you have! :) xx

Rain said...

Thanks Wisps of Words!! :) Wise words. I'm VERY happy of where I am on my journey, yet I want to be even happier as I go along my path. I feel as though I'm not quite doing what I was meant to do in this life yet...hard to explain, but I'm getting closer and closer to that every day! Perfection is unachievable and I'm okay with that lol...HUGS to you! xx

Rain said...

Thanks Mama Pea!! :) I really appreciate the support! This first post was difficult for me, I didn't realize it would be! But I think that having it out there has opened up new doors and thoughts and ideas for me to ponder. I'm excited about this challenge where before I did day 1, I was kind of dreading it! Hugs right back! :) xx

Fundy Blue said...

Congratulations for kicking off this month of challenges, Rain! I love that you love all these things about yourself. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself for feeling validated by the pre-mortgage approval and validation on your niceness lets you know you're on track. My "rule" is to be as kind and forgiving to myself as I am to others, so I'm calling you out on being a little hard on yourself!!!

What do I love about me? I love my smile. I love my energy. I love that I am intelligent. I love that I march to my own drum. I love that I take great delight in little things. I love that I am close to nature. I love that I love rocks. I love that I am creative, a writer and a photographer and a blogger. I love that I'm turning 69 in less than two weeks, because the best friend in my life died at 35, and I am grateful for every day of life. I love that I stand up for what I believe in, especially in speaking out against injustice. That's enough for now ~ Sad thing is I could come up with many more negatives very quickly! That's why my "rule" is to be kind and forgiving to myself!

Have a good one, my friend! It's good to see you back!

Magic Love Crow said...

I'm so proud of you Rain and yes you are right, no one has to validate you, except for you!!! Big Hugs! Unfortuanetly, I can't say everything I would like on my blog. But I feel you and hear you!

Rain said...

Hi Louise! :) Oh thank you for calling me out on being a little hard on myself! It's such a fine line for me, but you are very right. It's nice to be validated and I definitely earned it! :) I love your smile too! :) And really 69??? You don't look it at all!!! I agree, I'm grateful for every moment too, time goes by way too quickly. Thanks so much for sharing what you love about yourself!!! :)

Rain said...

Thanks Stacy!! :)) I actually had a lot of trepidation about being so open and personal here on the blog, but I'm really proud of myself that I'm doing it. Hugs! xx

Magic Love Crow said...

I wish I could too. I have about many things, but I have to do it in a round about way, because I have family members that read my blog!

Rain said...

I see what you mean Stacy! :)

Martha said...

I love this post xo

Rain said...

Thanks Martha! :)