Friday, March 15, 2019

Day 13 of 30 Days of Self Love: Turn Your Luck Around

This is last night's dinner: Chinese Hot Pot! I wanted to show you the napkins I folded, I decided to put the roses on a heart-shaped base! :)

Hello Friends!

Today is day thirteen of my month-long Self Love Challenge...and it's Friday. I know it's not Friday the 13th, but I got to thinking about luck today - good and bad!

I had a co-worker back in the day who was all doom and gloom. Luck was never on his side, everyone and everything was to blame but him...his parents, his career, the government, the Universe was against him. He was the unluckiest guy in the world and he was miserable.


He seemed to gain some kind of pleasure (or relief?) from spreading around his negativity and playing the victim. People did fall for it and gave him empathy and pity...but eventually got tired of his "poor me" act. 

I'm sure everyone knows somebody like that! I used to always tell him to see the positive in life, see the blessings he has - but of course, someone who wants to be miserable will always find a way to deflect any kind of positive suggestion given to them.

I am someone who believes in the Laws of the Universe. This quote sums it up for me:

"When you don’t understand the connections between the universal laws, you naturally encounter obstacles. You may feel lost, frustrated and confused about your purpose. It may even feel like virtually everything goes wrong for you, no matter how well you think you’ve planned.

In contrast, people who live their lives with an awareness of the interconnected laws typically report feeling more confident, productive and reflective than ever before. While there is advanced personal work you can do with respect to each law, even starting out with this general grasp of the different laws may make a noticeable difference to the way you feel." (

Today I want to focus on the Law of Attraction. I really do feel that positive attracts positive; and that negative attracts negative. I didn't always believe this...I was kind of like my ex-coworker for many years as a young adult. I couldn't see that my pessimistic outlook on life was opening me up to negative experiences. Now it's crystal clear to me, funny how hindsight works!

Are you like my ex-coworker? Or do you see the glass as half-full, or better yet, overflowing??? 😄

Do you feel lucky in life? Let's face it, we all have struggles and problems, but generally speaking, is luck on your side? If not, why not make a few changes to bring more positive experiences into your life?

1. Stop judging your current life as something (or anything) negative: If you are always thinking that you got the short end of the stick in life, that's what you will always have. I've been really wishing and hoping that my renting days are over...I want to own my own home and land. For a long time, I was miserable, I was never able to believe that my dream would ever happen. I hated renting...I felt like I'd be renting forever, never having a stable home. But last October, I started to change my perspective, and well, look what happened. I got my pre-approved mortgage and I'm a few months away from buying a home now. NO MORE RENTING!!! 😊 Of course, it's not just that I stopped judging my life, but doing so set everything in motion and as the months passed, my dream has nearly become a reality.

2. When you notice a negative thought, accept it, think about it, then switch it to a positive one: GUILTY as charged on this one! My negative thoughts always revolve around people, how people have badly treated me and how I didn't defend myself or get them out of my life quickly enough. It's unbelievable how programmed we become. I could be sitting in my living room, looking through cookbooks, when suddenly a memory pops into my mind about a time I'd been bullied or abused. If I don't reign in that thought, it can get out of control! I can let it upset me and ruin my day, or worse, put me into negative thinking where I'm susceptible to depression. It's okay to feel upset over a bad memory, a negative thought, but it's so important not to let it linger.

Here's an example. Last week, I remembered a time when my older sister always made fun of me in public. Back in the 1990's, I was out with a group of friends and my sister showed up at the same pub with one of her friends. She walked up to me and told me my hair looked ridiculous and that I needed to grow up. I'd had my hair in braids and I really liked how it looked on me. Usually when she did this, none of my friends stood up for me, and it was the same situation. I felt pretty humiliated and tried to ignore her. Having this memory last week really brought me down, and I started to think about everything that she had said about me over the years, the insults, the criticisms, the smear campaigns... I felt so defeated, I felt like crap to be honest. 

Do you see how just one memory (or negative thought) can mess up your self-esteem???

But then, I remembered what happened after that incident at the pub so many years ago. Suddenly there was a tap on my shoulder. A young waiter stooped down and whispered in my ear "I really like your hair that way". 

So that bad memory ended up turning into a nice memory of a total stranger showing me empathy. This allowed me to forget my evil sister's attempt to tear me down and focus on the kindness of a stranger.

3. Stop the blame game: This goes without saying, we all need to take responsibility for the choices we make in life and stop finding excuses by blaming everyone and everything around us for our bad luck or misery.

4. Always look for a positive in a negative: There was a property that I really had my eye on for the last year. I found out that there was a right of way that allowed anyone to walk about 10 feet away from the front of the house to the lake. I was so devastated, I thought this was THE property! But you know, despite my disappointment, the positive is that I have learned about right of ways and zoning areas in real estate law.

5. Believe in your higher power that everything will turn out in the end, despite any curve in the path: Anyone who believes in a higher power knows how effective it is when we turn our troubles over to them. Though I don't believe in a traditional God or Goddess, I do revere Nature and the Universe. I trust that the Universe has my back and that with sound decisions, good choices and a positive, loving attitude, everything I want in life will happen in time! :)

6. Expect good things to happen; but don't forget to take action to make them happen: This is both the Law of Attraction and the Law of Inspired Action. We can visualize everything we want as much as possible; but without setting things into motion through action, it is unlikely that anything will change. Wishing upon a star is still something I do! But if the wish is something I truly want to manifest, I make a plan of action too!

7. Listen to your instinct: This is a tough one for a lot of people, myself included. For many years, I stopped listening to my gut reaction. Through peer pressure and the pressures of society and family, I felt as though my gut was always steering me wrong and I ignored it. Boy did I learn some hard lessons! Learning to listen to your instinct can take a lot of work if you've been ignoring it for so long. I think I'll do a separate post on this one!

But you all know that feeling, I know it well. You meet a person and you get a little anxiety in the pit of your stomach. Someone asks you to do something and you instantly feel how wrong it is. You think you're alone when suddenly you feel as though you're being watched. That's your instinct trying to warn you about something. 

Contrarily, your instinct can really confirm that you're on the right path too! Someone in my life had been quite abusive to me in the past. It was due to a mental health disorder that he actually refused to seek help for. I was always forgiving, empathetic, trying to help out etc...and my gut always told me (usually through nausea and anxiety) that I wasn't making the right choices. 

One day I stood up to this person and told them "NO MORE". I told them I was willing to stand by them and love them, but that I would not allow any more abusive behaviour from them. After I confronted this person, I felt a great sense of relief and empowerment. This was my instinct giving me a tremendously LOUD round of applause for finally listening lol! :)

I guess in the end, we reap was we sow right? Any thoughts on this?


Pam said...

Do I feel lucky in life, I guess that all depends on how someone sees luck. No~ if I look at life as being someone that is lucky in all I touch where everything benefits me, that is not me. I am not one that wins contest, or games, I can't go gambling and win tons of money. I am not that lucky person where my life is PERFECT and everything goes my way. Now if you ask am I blessed, then I think my answer would be yes. Right now in my life I have to say that I even question being blessed but that is cause since Oct things have had me questioning life esp with moms death in Jan. Not only did i lose her, I seem to have lost me. I am confused, feeling lost, things are out of my control and I am feeling totally overwhelmed, but when I look back on my life I have to say yes. Sure, like everyone else, I have had my ups and downs in life but I feel like I have done fairly well for myself with the blessings I have. Thank you for posting, you had me thinking.

Mama Pea said...

The seven points you made and on which you elaborated (I loved your examples and elaborations as I think that definitely helps getting a point across) are down-to-earth good ones. I do believe knowing yourself, standing up for yourself, and finding your true self is a smidge harder for females in our society because many people look on the whole process as being "emotional." Especially when trusting your instincts, a quality I lost for many years. My instinctual feelings were something I couldn't explain concretely and, therefore, were deemed not valid by others AND, eventually, myself. Not good.

You're offering so much food for thought and wise words in these posts, Rain. I thank you for taking the time to do them.

Rain said...

Hi Pam :) I agree, luck is perception isn't it? I think of being lucky as feeling grateful, and as you say feeling blessed. I hope I don't sound like a know-it-all when I say this, but I think that you're in a phase of your life where you can really look within and discover some inner growth opportunities to make you thrive as a woman and as a person. If you've lost yourself, the opportunity to find a new you is right there when you are able to work through the overwhelming feelings and the sadness you've experienced. xx

Rain said...

Hi Mama Pea :) You're so welcome and thank you for your comment!! :) Oh how I've experienced what you describe about not being taken seriously, being called "emotional"...I even got laughed at one time when I brought up something that worried me - I was made fun of because I was using my "stupid woman's intuition". When someone you love says that to you, talk about ignoring your makes you question your own reality and it's so unfair. By the way, in that situation, my gut was absolutely spot on. My worries were valid and ignoring them cost me a lot of pain during that time. That person never even validated me. I should have validated myself.

I pay a lot of attention to my gut instincts now, but I don't always share what I'm feeling to everyone like I used to. I just feel what my intuition is trying to tell me, evaluate, form my own opinions, take action and then confide in someone I can trust if I need to. I guess I've become guarded in that way.

wyomingheart said...

Hey Rain, I love your examples on the power of the positive! I have always believed there was no such thing as luck, but I have believed in success. Success is when hard work and opportunity meet. I guess from my childhood, there have always been mostly positive attraction situations for me, but when those times of negative people or instances, I treat them as though they were poison on my soul, and shed them as quick as possible. It's really great that you have given us some deep thinking exercises! Thanks!

Rain said...

That's a great comment Dino, thank you, and you're welcome! :) I like what you said, negative people and instances are poison on your soul. It's very true, they can sap your energy to the point where you start to absorb their negative energy...I feel it around me a lot when I'm out in public. Hard work and opportunity is what we make of it! :)

Magic Love Crow said...

Great post Rain.
We have to live our lives with passion, no matter what the circumstance is. Everyone thinks, things will be better when this happens. Nope! Keep striving, but be grateful for what you have too. I know horrible things happen too, but I do feel it all has a purpose for us to grow. Big Hugs!

Rain said...

I agree Stacy. I used to be one of those people who could only see happiness when certain things came my way and I lived for the future. Feels like way too much time wasted on that! :)